Perhaps its like first time in 4 years time that I am feeling so insecure & hopeless for an exam. It can be demoralising to hear words like nvm..(I simply don't know how to put it across). A tiring day. I might breakdown again. I hope I don't. If I have a wish to be granted this year, I just hope I can pass promos and get promoted. I am willing to exchange it with anything. It is seriously too stressful this year, that I don't want to have to repeat things again. The ups and downs, I have enough of them. If only I could sleep forever, perhaps things might come to an end.

拿得起，就真的要放得下，吗？

It has been a rather (productive, non productive,I have no idea ) weekend. Promos in 7 days time. Yet I have not started C.S.E & GP. Two very important H1 subjects in order to get promoted. Guess I would have to save some last minutes for them this time round. I no longer have the luxury of time, I used to have.

Bio & chem is like half or can I say half done. I hope history in maths will not repeat itself, it can be rather demoralising and disheartening at times to see yourself being trapped in that vicious ABC cycle, with the C appearing at the wrong timing......

With just 7 to 9 days left, I am just afraid that I cannot finish bio& chem in time.Afterall theres roughly about 10 + chapters more. Attention span and level of concentration has been droping like no one's bussiness.

I have a wish for this promo. But I just wonder if it is just part of my day dreams.I wanna regain the confidence I used to have, the faith I used to behold.Perhaps Mrs Lim was right that jc is not very suitable for me, but if you never try, you never know. It is just a prediction.

May the merits of triple gems support me through this ordeal. sadu sadu.

是你的，终究会是你的。不是你的，终究不会是你的。担心再多，也与事无补。但可能就这一次，听天由命，行不通吧。

The bitter ones are the most ill-content, even if they seem to have everything going for them. Hard work isn't bad, but do it for the right reasons. Be healthy, and keep yourself as the gleaming beauty that you are.

Having fun isn't a bad thing-if anything, being too serious can be the bigger problem-but becoming too attached to certain things can make you forget how to find joy and pleasure without them. If you can't be happy on your own, how can you be happy at all?

真正的快乐.我已经很久没尝到了.我何常,不想自在逍遥.

Apparently, I have been quite dumb and careless with my choice of words recently, be it in class or outside class, which has created some trouble in terms of me relating to people.

Monday, tuesday & wednesday this week had been quite hellish for me. Being quite volatile at nite.

I doubt I would be attending my nephew's wed this sunday. Is like so werid to have a nephew thats so freaking grown up.Btw I dont even know that is he existed(sounds so bad but thats how many relatives I have. Anyway, that means one wedding less to attend. Year end my cousin is marrying, that one I will go :) looking forward to it, provided I pass by this term safely and pass on to the next stage, or else theres no reason for me to be there also.

Tomorrow onwards. Is bio le. Even mdm Song was shocked to hear that I have not started bio revision. Today just let it be le. I hope I can finish I & R tonite. Should drink more chlorella powder, I feel better with that.

CSE is like beyond words for me. Even though theres clues, but but nvm.

为何我总爱在对的时候，做错的事？

my apologies.

Shouldnt be here right now. But theres just too much things to do, papers to read, tutorials to complete, that I don't really know what on earth should I be doing now. Maybe i should just pick topics, like what I intend to do for GP.CSE, erm lets see how. Hope that we will get some clues like for MY.

One week pass quite fast huh....... Mum & dad's back from melacca with lots of food. The pineapple tarts tatses heavenly, just like those from taiwan. they got more than what i thought. And they actually went to Aeon tebaru, without buying kueh lapis or secret recipe for me!!!!!!!!! Anyway heard that it was quite fun. What a pity I can't tag along. If I did I would dunno be how dead now.

I need some directions. Someone out that please drop some hints for me what should I focus on? bio? chem? maths? gp? cse? or hw?

Tmr start school le. I am not looking forward to it. but second thoughts 20+ days & everything will be over. I can close shop for this year le.

千处祈求,千处现. 苦海,仓作渡人舟

Pathetic, I am just not in the right mode. Arenes looks easy, finally I dare to touch this chpt le. Its freaking long!!!!!!!! My attention span is dam short, 15 mins to 0.5 hrs, thats what I can.Half aa day pass by without even one chapter completed.

I am starting to have some signs of insomia. I can like dun sleep at nite, but I am dam tired. Not that I dont want to sleep, is just that when I close my eyes, I dont sleep but think so much instead. I hate it when the time reaches 6+ in the morning, is the time when my dad, wakes up, and I seems to be in that semi awake mode, then I will start to dream............

& worst thing is that when I am alone, either I am not focusing or thinking about stupid things or worrying about things.............................

18 more days to promos. On second thoughts, its a freaking short period of time. Yet nothing much productive has been done. People are like mugging until, theres no tommorrow le, yet I am still daydreaming................Let's see if I can pass on to the next. I did celebrate if I could.

Hope I can complete arenes and the HW miss Aw gave today.......................

阴沟里的一闪曙光.
脑海里的诸多担忧.

无智意无德,
以无所得故

090909 , nice date. Tired day. Promos, everyone is crazy over it. Life did be better if theres no such thing in existence.

I did feel better at nite, at least not that guilty over the job undone, the books untouched.

& probably this year might have been more enjoyable than now. slogging through everyday, hopping that things will come to an end.

Its like holiday now. Finally, when next term starts, things will roll as though there's no tommorow.

Just hope that I wont do stupid things or rather I don't have the chance to do stupid things like what I did at the start of the year.

Simply not in any mood to mug.

法渡迷情

Sometimes I just wondered how dumb can I be. I hoped I have really get myself into sense & start working. So that I dont have to breakdown, once more. Once is enough. History doesn't have to repeat itself. It was a painful fall. Till now it is still etched in my mind. That faithful day, when I just literatelly teared..............................................

Today was the most terrible day. 8 am all the way to 5 with no breaks at all. No recess, no lunch. Horrible ordeal. On top of that I am in sort of a emo mood today& those horrible tests are dam diffcult!

WR is getting more & more troublesome. People are complaining that I 霸占 the teacher for too long. Please get things right! I am only at AE, not ME!Don't be like snakes that eats the elephants.Anyway, things dun really seems to be going the way I thought it would have been. Neither is it flowing the way we like.

I just want OP to pass ASAP.Like what I told CaiLing after OP the feeling would be like 脱离苦海.

Sometimes, I just feel that I have wasted this year. & seriously, I hate this year. Its like very sad & unproductive. From the start of the year. But 1 more term, I hope I will get through this ordeal and pass on to the next phase of life. & I look forward to the cca trip. Just wish that promos will get me promoted & let me enjoy my holiday.

I need a break. A long and enjoyable one.

希望是苦进甘来, 雨后有彩虹

Abundance mentality......................... It just sets me thinking........................... Is it really happening? Or is it another phrase whereby humans created?

Emo.........

Just being scrutinised by mayvin, ling rong , jessie & cai ling. Shlould go home le. But aya who cares la. Actually by the looks of it, I should count myself lucky le. Although I can't say that my group is the best ones. But at least people still gets along & things still gets going. & at least we are not like some groups & some of those horrifying teammates that I have heard of.

Talked abit about class. Yup I missed 4E3, miss tan, mrs lim, mrs Ooi, mdm teoh......... jeremy, ronald, wen xin, pei jun (should not but I just dont really see her that frequently!)nicholas &..............S02,like what I said, is fun class to be in, not as stresss as 01 thats all.

PW seems to be fun when we joke around. But the grades and comments on the first page makes it taste horrible.

Chinese is getting worst. I might just flung the A levels. Don't know but it seems to be the way.Chinese compo is like down the drain, kinda bussiness.

Bio is just speechless, I am sure that I studied. But things just don't turn out the way it should have been.

GP, 1st time in my life did I really realised that one should paraphrase his words. Cost me 7/9 marks..............

Made some shocking discoveries today. Shall not comment on them. Ju & Ga hahah.

Typed this utter short post in school.

gtg........ go home. Tonnes of homework & worst is that I have not staarted revision for promos!! I am so super ultra dead.

玉不琢,不成器

Screwed up

I am actually quite annoyed by spa. Find myself pretty dumb, especially this year. Was quite annoyed by my own stupidity. It's like , nothing much went smoothly this year. Alot of downs. I seems to get panic very easily nowadays.

I know I shouldn't be blaming this & that. But I can't help it, especially when the results does not reflect what you do. Am I just trying to find an excuse for myself? Idk ...............

Like what I told ronald if I get _ for --------. I really can go and bump my head into the wall le.

人不为己,天诛地灭, 我终于体验到了. 笑里藏刀............ 你还真行..................

It's been 3/4 of the year. A long and bumpy journey indeed.With numerous downs. 6 more weeks and this part of the ordeal will be over, I wonder if I will make it past the hurdle. But one thing for sure, 6 weeks is not really a long one. The true colours will surface. Things will change.

My prediction is coming true. I have settle down enough, thats something I am glad of. At least I managed to lock that door up and dumped the keys into the sea. Things always doesn't go the way we prefer. Take it as a challenge and it will be over.

Nights are getting horrible. I am begging to afraid to chat at night. For I tend to be more emotional and unstable mentally at night, especially when things are not cleared, books are untouched and tutorials are incomplete.

Its common for people to relate me with books and nothing but books. But I dare say, I am seriously not the Yew Cheng that you guys know le. At least I dont hogged onto books and nothing but books. Very simple proof, my MY, reflects that.

Chinese, I should seriously start to worry. Loo says that the words I write cannot be comprehend & advised me to used words that are nvm...............

I am begging to cherish and appreciate the marvels and joys that holidays can bring. May the merits of triple gems bestow me with the strength I need.



I hate rejecting people nowadays. It just makes me feel bad.

I am super not in any mood to study for GP.
Thanks Miss Yeoh, really appreciate the extension.

I felt like destressing. (PW group dun mind I say the following stuffs)

Looking through the WR just makes me worry more. The WR idea is like undergone nonsense mutation all of a sudden, maybe UAG attached itself there le. There's simply no link between the ideas & lessons. Thanks to those $$$$ wise pastry shops that rejected our idea. Now the WR dun really flow le!!!!

The statics sorry Jessie. I am not trying to be picky, just that I am used to being like that for PW le. & my apologies, u may have to replot the graphs & stuffs le. Cause the stituation is not favouring us. so we just have to make the flow go with us abit.

Mayvin, that day is my fault sorry. didnt mean to ne so mean de.

Anyways ya........ theres still lots of things. Just hope that we can clear everything and settle down in time for Promos.

my eyes are closing le.......

When a door shuts, another will open. I wonder if it's true.
已经没有回头路了.

拿得起,放得下............我似呼办不到.

最终,可能一场空. 孤单离去.

遗憾

photos - memories

Traditional chinese pastries from Gin Thye

Gin Thye factory

Tong Heng- chinatown

09S02

AMS

National day this year was simply fun , enjoyed it :)

BBSS under the moonlight

4E3 & Mrs Kee

4E3 at BBSS opening :)

I was glad that I made it that nite. It's good to see the people that you once mingle with, the place that you used to be, singing the school song again............$35 was well spent.

Went holland village yesterday. It was my first time going there. The stretch of road that leads to the place was filled with nothing but bungalows & terraces. HollandVillage shopping center with a run down facade, was fun :) The Lim's Art inside & those small little shops were filled with exquisite ornaments that I used to find them only when I am abroad.

Went Red Man to buy some cake stuff, freaking far la. But that span of shophouses leading to it, was simply class de lor!!! Organic shopa, western bakeries and classy restaurants........ & every turn u make in Holland v. will allow u to bump into at least one ang moh.....

事过境迁

Finally I can blog le!!!!!
Anyway today was fun but unproductive. National day celebration at PJ is fun :)Then went swim. Anyway photos is up on facebook.Tmr, if I have time then I will post. BBSS opening was great, other than the part of being scolded by MR NEO that old lizard.

人在江湖, 身不由己

I finally say that, I think I have chosen the right path. & was glad that I took this path.

PTM

It's like first time in 4 years i went for PTM & it wasn't really a pleasant affair after all. I thought it wouldn't be that bad.But euuu....

Reached that at 10.45, waited for 20 minutes cause she was nowhere in sight.Then she came. NVM, the first words was, did I see you before? then my mum said no.
Then she gave my mum the result slip, and said, "erm , yew cheng pass all his subjects, but theres still room for improvement. As you can see theres no "A"s and very little "B"s, this kind of results cannot get him into a uni. "-.-llll I was like wow, how straight of you.

Then my mum says his english very lousy. She continued, ya, his english is not very good. Needs improvement.

Then she asked my mother to sign & leave le. We talked like dunno how short less than 5 minutes?

After that my mum starts nagging le........... There goes..............................
Wonder why she can't be more tactful with her words. Maybe its good for her to be quick, if not I wonder what she is going to say next.

一言惊醒梦中人

I don't know what to say now la.

My dad just found my phone bill which I didnt hide properly. He was like where is the telephone bill for this month huh? Then he started digging the heap of papers on the table & he found it.

Outgoing calls - 181.8 min 27.31
Incoming calls - 401.8 min 60.36

-.-lll Anyway he didnt say much heng..... Just afew words......

But maybe seriously I should cut down on the time I spent talking on phone la. & concentrate more on my school work.Perhaps this explains my MYE grades.

-----------------------------------------------

Today chit chat abit with m.. l.. she was trying to inquire about the class, especially CSE. So I just gave her the points, reflected what the class thinks in the nicest & tactful way & balanced the view point with my own to make it sound complete and nicer. Anyway yup, was rather interesting. Made some comparisons & stuff, tried to be balanced & made her promise not to quote me. Rest assure, nothing bad was sprouted. Anyways she say our class is generally fine, just that we mugged the wrong way she say we 死读书,不是没有读书& teachers generally find us ok to teach. I shall stop here for this.

Summation is irritating.....

谋事在人,成事在天