Breathe.......... Breathe................ & Breathe...................

I don't know why I was so volatile today. Probably, I was really mad that you kept daoing me.Where should I start typing from? I am blurred confused by thoughts & that chunk of emotions that stirred in my mind, was driving me (to a certain extend) crazy.


Right......... I think I would start here. Probably, the word of trust, the feeling of friendship was broken, after my stupid words. I have this feeling that, the link was broken since. & that, undeniably was my fault. However, I did like to argue back that there are factors which I simply can't accept.


There are some of your actions that I could tolerate, because I know either it has been tough on you or I was at fault. However there are some, which sometimes amazed me.


Friends - is about giving in to one's flaws/diffculties, accepting each other's differences, adapting to one's uniqueness, showing the due concern at appropriate time & probably correcting ________ . I have been adopting this stance since sec4. I know I dun show enough concern but that doesnt meant I dont bother either. But somehow or rather, my inappropriate usage of language protrait my views & actions in a wrong or negative manner.


Why do I always call you to go converstate to your class or les. The reason is simple, I find that I am hurting you too much.& you seems to enjoy their company better than mine. But, it seems like I am running away from my problems. It looks as though I want to ignore you. But why would I? When there's like pratically no one left for me to dwell deep into my thoughts?

Your sms of "DUN WAN tutition" came somewhere during GP. & coincidentally, we were assigned with this question " What is Happiness". Guess it came at a right time. It's about time, I ponder & reconsider the defination of happy.


That sms,on bus, was partially out of anger & partially out of my fear. I really really was anticipating tutition today, but somehow my life was twisted by fate. It turn out sour. I was afraid that it turned out like this.


It was something that I predict would happen today, I had been trying to prevent it. But somehow, it happened. I had let this part of life slipped of my hands, simply because I greased my hands.

Harm is done, but still sorry. sorry for creating so much emoness & stress for you for the past few months. Probably, you would agree that I should let my hands off & fill in the blank - The _ _ _ . Haizzz

This post was not meant to be filled with any agenda.

人没有永远的朋友，也没有永远的敌人

Phewwwww................ Its finally an end to this horribly long & tedious week. Lots of things. tests & quizzes. Think chemistry, compared with the others, was abit of the badly done.

Up next, bio test, chem quiz (again, but this is life), lots of homework. Need to settle down soon, & start mugging. But I am afraid that I might just burnt out easily this year. There's this stupid idea when i see kairos student. (It's abit bad of me but ) I have this stupid stupid idea whenever I dun understand some stuffs, that is - I might become one of them after common test, hahah.

Then there is another thing that will give me this "join kairos feeling" - CHINA STUDIES, there is this very stupid feeling that I will just fail it for a simple reason - I feel super ultra insecure.

I was abit annoyed today during CSE, especially by the fact that after 1 year I still don't know how to write topic sentences !!!!!!!! I was freaking irritated, if not I would not have been so sarcastic to "myself" telling him off that " I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN ECONS!" - so should I join Kairos for econs? dumb rite? having such stupid thoughts - only after you have gone through a freaking hellish PROMO period. lols

Maths - is getting more & more boring......... & i dun really like vector, or haha vector teacher.
Chemistry - I am feeling more & more lost .........
GP - is fun, i always enjoyed it, even though I hate + fear seeing it during exams
Bio - I love mendalian , he is really a genius hahah

K, up next is my cousin's wedding :) Shark's fin & yam paste. yeah !!! my all time favourites. & Just being random, in order to prepare for the upcoming battle year end, I am going to nag my mum to buy more & extra more pineapple tarts this year.(hahah, absolutely no link, but who cares cause I simply love these lovely tarts!)& my marks & spencer chocolate chips , I die die wan to buy it ASAP, I am simply missing & craving for them!! They are awesome cookies at affordable & reasonable prices.

沉默中的希望

Today was rather ok. PE was ok, but I am starting to begin to hate the fact that friday PE will be dunno wad physical training, which means I will be all wet & sweaty on my way down to far east.
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Don't really know wad happen between us. Clash of interest, inappropriate usage of words, emotions, rejecting etc................. or probably it was me that's the reason.

Still, I feel that, I am not really deemed appropriate to befriend you sometimes. Cause I just can't find a reason, over why u seems sader whenever after communicating with me( other than those times when I am stupid with my actions & words). While on the otherhand, most people don't do that & that should be the what I considered" correct way" for a friendship.


Probably I was over paranoid or something, but I don't think I am.

友谊如果那么轻易被磨灭, 它就称不上是友情而只是单纯的认清

term 1 week 2 tue mid nite.......

Horrible start. I feel so so drained le. Do I really feel happy in school? Hmmm, probably, chih kiat was right, if I was in another disposition, I would feel even more drained ba. Afterall, although class was not very much of the managable ( with me staring into space during math, daydreaming in biology, making no sense in chemistry & last but not least worrying for china studies during "my own class") , probably the class was enjoyable at times, just enough to keep me alife during class. & the conversation via smses. lols

Tonnes of homework gushing in like tusnami, then there's lecturers after lectures of talks to handle. BTW, china studies is really really "self study" what I call I( YU CHING aka YEW CHENG) teaching himself. The lectures is really really really a sheer waste of time. Sometimes I really wonder - why was I so dumb & naive to think & believe that china studies in english was a subject that was suitable for people with C5 for english. & that econs is only meant for people with B4 & above, when the fact is that I sort of enjoyed listensing & reading econs related stuffs.

Enough complains for now, at least I will wrap off this hectic week with a wedding dinner from my cousin :) ^^. Shark's fin, yam paste my all time favourites . haha & I can do 1 pull up le !!! Yeh ! I broke the egg.

快乐才是成功

110110 - counting down

I am sort of dreading tommorrow 110110. But, life still goes on....... It's an utterly depressing fact that, I with my limited ability, can't change it. The road ahead is definately going to be though, now it's a matter of how rocky it would be and how adaptable I am going to be.

Holiday's over...... I wish that this year's holiday was longer, afterall it was probably one of the best I've ever had.

I am praying sincerely that the next 4 terms ahead will be smooth one, especially the last term.

脚踏实地,希望明天会更好

1st Post for the year. Wonder which word should I use to describe, " exciting" or "tiring" year ahead?

Had been a bit busy recently. But I am glad that, I was given this "busy chance", for if not I would still be in the dark.

School's starting in like 3 days time & my homework is like zzzzzzzzz.......

一言惊醒梦中人