Its rather ironic that when I am well & healthy, I feel like being sick, so that I can run away from that pile of homework. But when I am sick, it feels as though, I have lacked behind. Although, I wasn't really, that much behind..................................

I had 2 consecutive new year, filled with uncertainties. It sets me wondering, whether or not I had made the right choice, whether I should have so sturbornly sticked with my own instincts, whether I would have been better elsewhere. Its dumb, for such thoughts to surface at this point of the time. When you have invested so much in it.

There's still time................. Its really a nice phrase to make things look less complicated. But at times, probably it's just another reason for me to run away from facts.

To be frank, I don't really like where I am(and if I could I would add this phrase - probably from the start, from the moment I entered that door). & yup, some people do notice that I am turning bit "hermit" recently.......................... Would it get worst? I have no idea......... The reason - Some people r pissing me off....... with a bag full of lies.

Asthma after 14 yrs...... what a joke. Probably, I would be bound to another joke soon. But trust me, I swear, I would never let what happen last year happen.

Guess, I would want a slower paced life recently & I think I am adapting to that. Don't want to get burn out before the real things. But neither should I be too complacent, for I agree, there's simply too much uncertainties & lies going around me.

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CNY2010

I call it - 老虎出来咬人。haha. Could have enjoyed it more, if only I wasn't sick. Ang Pao wise, hmmm not bad this year, cause I got tips for packing ang paos hahah. Overall, not much difference, probably lesser............. But the $$ also not I keep so not much difference.

Food wise, bad........ My alll time favourites, pineapple tarts, sugee cookies, floss rolls........... All so near, yet so far........
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NUH
hmmm, not as bad as I thought. Bit worried initially but, generally was fine......


幸福是要自己去争取的

新年，新希望。

但愿
百尺竿头，更上一层楼，
步步高升，智慧如花开。

It really takes quite a bit of effort to comfort yourself that, life is full of ups & downs and you should be prepare to deal with the obstacles ahead.

But it takes even more
- to encourage yourself stay afloat, as deep inside, you already know that you are sinking (fast).
- to believe that miracles will repeat itself.
- to hold faith that the skies will clear & the rainbow would be there smiling at me.

yes, indeed, the road ahead is still long. ( 8 more months, I am just pregnant for 1 month & those morning sickness will just worsen) It's still too early to tell whether at the end of the day, I will sense the warm and welcoming light from the sun, or be trapped further down the endless tunnel. But perhaps, one thing is for sure - just try your best, and let nature take its course.

人活着就是上苍的恩赐, 人的举止是上苍的恩点

If there was another way, I would not be here today.......................................... I did be back, somewhere I enjoy............................ somewhere far away. There's this utterly wrong feeling of wanting to repeat this year, becasue I simply don't feel prepared for it. Feel like giving up.

It's my choice, I ought to carry on, till I really fall..............

Its friday :) I simply love it.

Chemistry tutition was really , I feel like using this word, it was awesome. I actually enjoyed her lessons more than those tutorials in school.& I managed to really understand things, rather than " Dunno , just memorise " ( a famous quote that I heard since day 1 in chem lesson).

& the other thing good about the location ( not considering the fact that it takes exactly 1hr/ trip to or forth my house), I get to buy Marks & Spencer's food & those bread that tantalises my taste buds.
--------------------

Sum up the week.............

Chem quiz , was wasted. I actually knew the correct answers & I had no time, well it's over.
Math, ayo, horrible timings & that horrible teacher, which any o how changed the question.
GP, is really fun without tests & stuffs. & I am sort of the motivated & inspired.
CCA showase was fun :) With ttp being so enthu, missing chemistry lesson, GP lecture.

Got this phrase today..............
Success is not without "U" .

起浮不定

Another awful day. I was rather sadden by bio, I thought I had 22.5 when I got it back. But the fact is that, Mr wong added wrongly. haizzzzz, I got all the eplanation wrong, so my 7/10 MCQ was of no help here. Thus, I ended up with 20.5. A miserable pass. Ee Hong, who f..... sat beside me, kept quiet for 2.5 hours of lesson ( 1.5 bio, 1 chem), and gave me that sian diao look. Whilc sort of the distrubs me abit also. So I sat that 2.5hour quiet also.

CSE, I can only say, the more I attend the Theme 3's tutorials, the more I feel that "I am suitable for Econs".

PE, being in a handball incident prone class, I finally got my share. lols, my specs took the blow for me. My levis frame went out of shape. Hmmm, wonder if I should be thick skined to change it to a esprit one. XD .

& I am more or less settled, that I dont want to go for CNY celebrations next week. Thus I would most likely have my dental clashed with it.

Hmmm, school................ BAD. Just don't feel in place, there's still this feel, I am not suitable for JC kinda feeling. It's dumb I know. & I know the principal was rite that, I should get rid of it soon. But I don't really know, who to consult or who to tell. Cause it's like people will think that I am insane.

Class is as usual, mundane & banal. I am getting sick of it, the lessons & tutorials. I am getting abit emotional during lessons these days.( IDK why, don't ask me) Probably that's why, I sit alone during CSE lecture today, I sit like a bit apart from the rest. I know I should sit with someone during tutorial, cause if not I will just let my emotions take over me sometimes & I will lost track of where the lecturer is at.

I realised that my greatest flaw is that i can't even express my doubts clearly & thus no help could be offered.

Miss Aw was, as usual, fierce, she felt that we have not respected her, for a simple reason, people skipping her lesson. But I think, she doesnt even know that I was away. From the abit " shocked" face she gave me when she saw me standing up, then asking me to go back.

I made a promise to myself, I will not go prom & next yr, I will only collect after people collected theirs.

GP wasted enough of my time le. Time for bio & math le.

过去,当今,未来