A B for PW. I would say, I expected it all these while. I would say that it's the WR that caused the A. The B seems abit useless, after hearing that 95% of the school got A or B.
One thing good about everyone having a B is that, we don't feel that shitty feeling of inferior or mistakes. But the bad thing is, CaiLin's straight A will be gone. Felt bit bad over it. lols
It's over.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Probably, she's right. If I were to continue, without exploding, I am driving myself towards a cliff, is just when I'll fall. I am experiencing both the positive and negative sides of motivation. I have driven myself way off my limits.
She used this analogy, there's 3 kinds of runner. A, started with full steam, but eventually, his lungs can't take it, he collapse it half way. B, is simply too scared to continuing, for he keep comparing , and looking at the left and right sides, seeing only how fast people run, without realising that he also has his potential. B gave up eventually. & lastly, there's C. C ran with a consistent speed, but he made it, for he just stick to his ideas and be consistent.
The moral of the story, it's not how fast we run, how many times we bloom. It is how well we bloom at the end, that really matters.
I was finally smiling again. Yew Cheng haven't been smiling genuniely for a long time. No one notices that. I appeared strong in front of literatelly everyone. But superficial things doesnt last, eventually everything came apart.
I started moving again, but this time, I know, I can't afford to breakdown again. She said that I need to start slow. Yes, I agree, and I am probably having a short break for now. & my health.... I don;t want to have a 3rd attack, which might put me on bed for a week......
If I am destintied for accountancy I'll reach there, if not no matter how hard I work, things wont work out. There's always a greener pasture out there awaiting for me to discover.
苍天恩德， 佛恩浩大
我的存在，
你的出现，
不是机缘巧合，
而是冥冥中自有安排。
由心感谢
She used this analogy, there's 3 kinds of runner. A, started with full steam, but eventually, his lungs can't take it, he collapse it half way. B, is simply too scared to continuing, for he keep comparing , and looking at the left and right sides, seeing only how fast people run, without realising that he also has his potential. B gave up eventually. & lastly, there's C. C ran with a consistent speed, but he made it, for he just stick to his ideas and be consistent.
The moral of the story, it's not how fast we run, how many times we bloom. It is how well we bloom at the end, that really matters.
I was finally smiling again. Yew Cheng haven't been smiling genuniely for a long time. No one notices that. I appeared strong in front of literatelly everyone. But superficial things doesnt last, eventually everything came apart.
I started moving again, but this time, I know, I can't afford to breakdown again. She said that I need to start slow. Yes, I agree, and I am probably having a short break for now. & my health.... I don;t want to have a 3rd attack, which might put me on bed for a week......
If I am destintied for accountancy I'll reach there, if not no matter how hard I work, things wont work out. There's always a greener pasture out there awaiting for me to discover.
苍天恩德， 佛恩浩大
我的存在，
你的出现，
不是机缘巧合，
而是冥冥中自有安排。
由心感谢
Saturday, April 10, 2010
After keeping everything to myself for such a horrendously long period of time. I have finally confided to 2 adults at one go. ( I should have said, I exploded)
Meet Mdm Song on thursday, initally thought I would have a consulation with her. But the series of events took a turn, a surpirsing one. Never did I thought that I would see Jessie. Neither did I thought of seeing her tearing ( due to Miss Aw's : wad happend?). She saw Mdm Song & she started ...... yah. Then she was brought to aside. I waited.
After 0.5 hrs, my turn, I asked wad shld I do to math........ ( she said & stuffs & my mood starts to change for the worst). Eventually I cant take it I cried also.... Then we went over to a quite corner. I finally confided to her how horrible I felt... & that I felt like dying.... She's shocked, I could sense that..... She tried consoling me but, her attempts failed.
I began to hyperventilate & ...... she called the counsellor. I went down to the office, went into the VP's office ( VP went home , so we used her office instead. Think the P saw me, but she kept her silence, which I was glad she did), by then I was pale , white completely horrible. She brought in a cup of hot water. We sat there for an hour, she calm me down and we chatted.
Guess I was holding on to too much things, feared for too many negatives, that lead me to where I am. Review on monday, after school.
I knew, I wasn't feeling rite, and guessed I was right this time. I brokedown...............
It's not the physical fatigue that drains. It's the emotional fatigue that kills. & probably Ms Low was right, I need to take care of my health, more than anything..........
She knew, I tried to appear strong on the outside, but I finally gave myself away.............
I wanted no one else to know about anything, but the news spread, by now at least 4-6 adults ( including the one at home) should have known wad happened. I hope that don't come ask me anymore. When the P saw me on friday, I knew that,she sort of the stared at me, to see if I am fine.
Meet Mdm Song on thursday, initally thought I would have a consulation with her. But the series of events took a turn, a surpirsing one. Never did I thought that I would see Jessie. Neither did I thought of seeing her tearing ( due to Miss Aw's : wad happend?). She saw Mdm Song & she started ...... yah. Then she was brought to aside. I waited.
After 0.5 hrs, my turn, I asked wad shld I do to math........ ( she said & stuffs & my mood starts to change for the worst). Eventually I cant take it I cried also.... Then we went over to a quite corner. I finally confided to her how horrible I felt... & that I felt like dying.... She's shocked, I could sense that..... She tried consoling me but, her attempts failed.
I began to hyperventilate & ...... she called the counsellor. I went down to the office, went into the VP's office ( VP went home , so we used her office instead. Think the P saw me, but she kept her silence, which I was glad she did), by then I was pale , white completely horrible. She brought in a cup of hot water. We sat there for an hour, she calm me down and we chatted.
Guess I was holding on to too much things, feared for too many negatives, that lead me to where I am. Review on monday, after school.
I knew, I wasn't feeling rite, and guessed I was right this time. I brokedown...............
It's not the physical fatigue that drains. It's the emotional fatigue that kills. & probably Ms Low was right, I need to take care of my health, more than anything..........
She knew, I tried to appear strong on the outside, but I finally gave myself away.............
I wanted no one else to know about anything, but the news spread, by now at least 4-6 adults ( including the one at home) should have known wad happened. I hope that don't come ask me anymore. When the P saw me on friday, I knew that,she sort of the stared at me, to see if I am fine.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
What a hectic, and horrible week.....
It started with a C in chem, which I now realise, if it wasn't because of my foolish carelessness, I would have easily gotten a B, instead of that C. Wasted this paper....
Math was disasterous. For the first time in my life, an Elephant apeared, obstructing my way forward. I was totally devasted to the maximum. I studied yet I got a E. I can't help but to amplify this point. The 1 hour of going through the paper was tortoureous. I simply can't concentrate, I was looking out of the windows, trying to remain calm. But guess I can't take it. I shouted at Ee Hong. lol . It was definatley heart rentching, for I almost teared infront of Mdm Song, when she asked what happened. I tried to be strong. But guessed I wasn't that strong, I broke into tears that afternoon & the day after( 2 x) for it wasn't easy to accept the fact that I studied yet I somehow failed.
GP was a close shave. But I was glad that I made the right choice. Was bit shocked, but I was glad that I passed. And the essay I was simply happy that I got 29, though a mistake in the labelling of question cost me 1 mark. lol. But probably, Dr Queck was right, the process of waiting for results made me too stress and worried. That I hyperventilated for 15 mins.... A terrible ordeal, my vision went blurred, my hands froze, pearls of sweat slid down my back, for once I thought I was fainting.........
It wasn't the process that drains. It is the failures that demoralises.
It started with a C in chem, which I now realise, if it wasn't because of my foolish carelessness, I would have easily gotten a B, instead of that C. Wasted this paper....
Math was disasterous. For the first time in my life, an Elephant apeared, obstructing my way forward. I was totally devasted to the maximum. I studied yet I got a E. I can't help but to amplify this point. The 1 hour of going through the paper was tortoureous. I simply can't concentrate, I was looking out of the windows, trying to remain calm. But guess I can't take it. I shouted at Ee Hong. lol . It was definatley heart rentching, for I almost teared infront of Mdm Song, when she asked what happened. I tried to be strong. But guessed I wasn't that strong, I broke into tears that afternoon & the day after( 2 x) for it wasn't easy to accept the fact that I studied yet I somehow failed.
GP was a close shave. But I was glad that I made the right choice. Was bit shocked, but I was glad that I passed. And the essay I was simply happy that I got 29, though a mistake in the labelling of question cost me 1 mark. lol. But probably, Dr Queck was right, the process of waiting for results made me too stress and worried. That I hyperventilated for 15 mins.... A terrible ordeal, my vision went blurred, my hands froze, pearls of sweat slid down my back, for once I thought I was fainting.........
It wasn't the process that drains. It is the failures that demoralises.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Phew..................... It's like 1 week, or rather 4 days & it's finally over.
CSE was a waste. I actually guessed that it would be that essay. But I didnt manage to have time. Or maybe I was too stuborn & thought, I could come up with an inpromtu essay on the spot.
Chem was abit wasted, or maybe I was simply unprepared. But I felt that I was rather panicky, fluttered & unfocused. Jumping here & there.
Math, I was like "WOW" PJC actually can set such questions. Bit taken aback. Usually thought that they set manageable stuffs. But guessed I was wrong. Last 4 question & the tiger question killed me, 43 marks at risk. haizzzz there goes my apple. I can pass already very good le.
Bio, er, if only I wasnt so suay & had fever last nite, I might had bloomed....
jaded.........haizzz, life sux.
CSE was a waste. I actually guessed that it would be that essay. But I didnt manage to have time. Or maybe I was too stuborn & thought, I could come up with an inpromtu essay on the spot.
Chem was abit wasted, or maybe I was simply unprepared. But I felt that I was rather panicky, fluttered & unfocused. Jumping here & there.
Math, I was like "WOW" PJC actually can set such questions. Bit taken aback. Usually thought that they set manageable stuffs. But guessed I was wrong. Last 4 question & the tiger question killed me, 43 marks at risk. haizzzz there goes my apple. I can pass already very good le.
Bio, er, if only I wasnt so suay & had fever last nite, I might had bloomed....
jaded.........haizzz, life sux.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Chemistry today. Felt totally cheated. Wonder if I got U for it. If I do, it would be the first in my life. Will I cry if I get U? I wonder also. lols.
Tmr is math, alot to memorize.............. I don't want to be in that awkard situation hearing - "U R NOT DOING JUSTICE TO YOURSELF". his kind of stuffs, once is enough.... I almost teared back then hahah.
Kept wondering if I get DES & UU how? touchwood.
Tmr is math, alot to memorize.............. I don't want to be in that awkard situation hearing - "U R NOT DOING JUSTICE TO YOURSELF". his kind of stuffs, once is enough.... I almost teared back then hahah.
Kept wondering if I get DES & UU how? touchwood.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Shouldnt be here at this moment. Should be mugging, like what everyone else is doing.
I can sense that I am drifting apart from the class. That's something for sure& I have predicted. I tried to accustomise myself into the envirnoment I chose(or could I say I forced myself to be in) to be in. But I seems to fail.
Science center today was, not exactly fun, neither was it boring. PCR was new, electrophoresis was er old. lols.
Juggling between work & play, probably is way beyound my ability. I tried to study during this pseudo march holiday. I felt that I failed. Quite alot of things were undone. Math for instance, vectors & APGP. Chemistry, organic chemistry is enough to kill me. Biology like CSE, don't even mention it.
1 week & I would most likey turn myself to be at risk( & I dare say, for the first time in my life). & the consequence, would my already low morale take another blow? Or rather, am I up for another blow, or another fall. Will I climb up in time?
I appear strong, cold and probably even arrogant to some. But who really knows what I am thinking. How I wished that everything was a dream & I could just pass-on beyound this miserable stage of "life".
Alrights..... life still goes on.......... brush, bath & mug
Probably I should just take this common test as a stepping stone but can I really percieve it this way?
I can sense that I am drifting apart from the class. That's something for sure& I have predicted. I tried to accustomise myself into the envirnoment I chose(or could I say I forced myself to be in) to be in. But I seems to fail.
Science center today was, not exactly fun, neither was it boring. PCR was new, electrophoresis was er old. lols.
Juggling between work & play, probably is way beyound my ability. I tried to study during this pseudo march holiday. I felt that I failed. Quite alot of things were undone. Math for instance, vectors & APGP. Chemistry, organic chemistry is enough to kill me. Biology like CSE, don't even mention it.
1 week & I would most likey turn myself to be at risk( & I dare say, for the first time in my life). & the consequence, would my already low morale take another blow? Or rather, am I up for another blow, or another fall. Will I climb up in time?
I appear strong, cold and probably even arrogant to some. But who really knows what I am thinking. How I wished that everything was a dream & I could just pass-on beyound this miserable stage of "life".
Alrights..... life still goes on.......... brush, bath & mug
Probably I should just take this common test as a stepping stone but can I really percieve it this way?
Sunday, March 14, 2010
About to start APGP, or rather I started, but just after 1 question, I stopped, cause I can't stand it. Arithmetic & Geometric proggression- is like an comprehension passage filled with numbers that replaced the bombarstic words.
It's quite a joke, 1 year passed & soon, I would be left with 3 terms before my final lap in this local Education System. It's pretty fast, and I am just quite annoyed, unprepared & probably lack the confidence to excel.
I do have a dream, or to be more specific, an end in mind. But the way things are turning, I really wondered how things would turn out. I tell myself, if there's a miracle for PW, I would harp on to that dream. If not, why not just let it aside. For my grades probally couldn't get me that far.
Lies, false statements, sour grapes(I am not refering to you, I am refering to cockroach) or even white lies, are everywhere. I tried to differentiate them, but they simply clump and clatter together into a lump, far beyound recognition.
I tried to slow down the pace of life, cause I don't want a stupid relapse or burn out before the main course. But, the trend surronding me, doesnt seems to allow me to do so. I will just have to work abit harder, while at the same time, choose wwho to communicate with, such that I remain humane till the end...................
Phew....... How I wish I could catch some Korean drama like now................... But probably I'll have to go back to APGP. I don't want to end up hearing - you are not doing justice to yourself, or even worst being labelled AT RISK........... lols.
May the blessings to triple merits guide me through this ordeal, and may the peace & serenity that I once own, suroound me as I try to make it to the end of this tunnel.
It's quite a joke, 1 year passed & soon, I would be left with 3 terms before my final lap in this local Education System. It's pretty fast, and I am just quite annoyed, unprepared & probably lack the confidence to excel.
I do have a dream, or to be more specific, an end in mind. But the way things are turning, I really wondered how things would turn out. I tell myself, if there's a miracle for PW, I would harp on to that dream. If not, why not just let it aside. For my grades probally couldn't get me that far.
Lies, false statements, sour grapes(I am not refering to you, I am refering to cockroach) or even white lies, are everywhere. I tried to differentiate them, but they simply clump and clatter together into a lump, far beyound recognition.
I tried to slow down the pace of life, cause I don't want a stupid relapse or burn out before the main course. But, the trend surronding me, doesnt seems to allow me to do so. I will just have to work abit harder, while at the same time, choose wwho to communicate with, such that I remain humane till the end...................
Phew....... How I wish I could catch some Korean drama like now................... But probably I'll have to go back to APGP. I don't want to end up hearing - you are not doing justice to yourself, or even worst being labelled AT RISK........... lols.
May the blessings to triple merits guide me through this ordeal, and may the peace & serenity that I once own, suroound me as I try to make it to the end of this tunnel.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.
You never know who these people may be...possibly your roommate, neighbor, coworker, long lost friend, or even a complete stranger, but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.
Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck.
Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.
If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.
Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again.
Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.
You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets. Most importantly!!!if you LOVE someone tell him or her, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store. And learn a lesson in life each day that you live.
THAT’S THE STORY OF LIFE
You never know who these people may be...possibly your roommate, neighbor, coworker, long lost friend, or even a complete stranger, but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.
Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck.
Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.
If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.
Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again.
Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.
You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets. Most importantly!!!if you LOVE someone tell him or her, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store. And learn a lesson in life each day that you live.
THAT’S THE STORY OF LIFE
Friday, March 5, 2010
I toss a coin, with a prayer to predict what will happen. The predictions is sadly coming true.
It's like so long since I last came online. Tonnes of things happened, almost breakdown. I thought u trusted me but sadly you don't.
-----------------------
Miss Aw's lesson on tuesday was, simply life changing. Every word that she sprouted during that short 1 hour of "life long lesson" really made an impact. Someone who actually phrased your thoughts out, word by word, in such a tactful manner, to make sure that the impact is made, but no harm is done. She's just too skilled for that. A totally different side from her. 7 months, that's all you have. It will determine what you are doing for the next 70 years. If you want to waste it, it's your life. The consequences - gossips and failures that you will face.
----------------------
A level Results. Today. nothing much of the special. Just that I realise one thing - confiding in someone, really really doesnt mean saying whatever you are thinking at that point. For your concern can become the other's distress. Just keep things to yourself, it doesn't kill to do so.
Isolation, is a good way to escape from interaction. For it ensures that you do not intrude other's privacy. Neither would other's be able to peek into your life.
Probably, staying in class during breaks & going to that solitude concer in the library does help.
-----------------------
I do not experience real "emotional stage" . I disagree. I literately was in pieces somewhere now last year. Who knows? Answer is "no one". I appear calm and to some perhaps strong. But who can really look into what is going on in my brain, what I am thinking? No -one does.
I thought I found someone to open up that lock in my heart, that was triple or even quaternary reinenforced( thanks to that "marvellous childhood of mine"). But guessed I was wrong.
----------------------
Birthday - well wishes & wallet. Nothing much other than - appreciate what they did. If only dad was more generous, or should i say, if only those 2 pieces of papers never belonged to my family. Wishes- I didnt pray for anything on this faithful day. For it didnt turn out right(from the start of the year).
-----------------------
Frenetic and indivualistic - that's how the world ought to be described. Glad that I locked this up. If not, who am I telling all these? U? Not now. I wondered, will this cast an end to the story. If it is wise, then probably .............. nvm.
It's like so long since I last came online. Tonnes of things happened, almost breakdown. I thought u trusted me but sadly you don't.
-----------------------
Miss Aw's lesson on tuesday was, simply life changing. Every word that she sprouted during that short 1 hour of "life long lesson" really made an impact. Someone who actually phrased your thoughts out, word by word, in such a tactful manner, to make sure that the impact is made, but no harm is done. She's just too skilled for that. A totally different side from her. 7 months, that's all you have. It will determine what you are doing for the next 70 years. If you want to waste it, it's your life. The consequences - gossips and failures that you will face.
----------------------
A level Results. Today. nothing much of the special. Just that I realise one thing - confiding in someone, really really doesnt mean saying whatever you are thinking at that point. For your concern can become the other's distress. Just keep things to yourself, it doesn't kill to do so.
Isolation, is a good way to escape from interaction. For it ensures that you do not intrude other's privacy. Neither would other's be able to peek into your life.
Probably, staying in class during breaks & going to that solitude concer in the library does help.
-----------------------
I do not experience real "emotional stage" . I disagree. I literately was in pieces somewhere now last year. Who knows? Answer is "no one". I appear calm and to some perhaps strong. But who can really look into what is going on in my brain, what I am thinking? No -one does.
I thought I found someone to open up that lock in my heart, that was triple or even quaternary reinenforced( thanks to that "marvellous childhood of mine"). But guessed I was wrong.
----------------------
Birthday - well wishes & wallet. Nothing much other than - appreciate what they did. If only dad was more generous, or should i say, if only those 2 pieces of papers never belonged to my family. Wishes- I didnt pray for anything on this faithful day. For it didnt turn out right(from the start of the year).
-----------------------
Frenetic and indivualistic - that's how the world ought to be described. Glad that I locked this up. If not, who am I telling all these? U? Not now. I wondered, will this cast an end to the story. If it is wise, then probably .............. nvm.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Its rather ironic that when I am well & healthy, I feel like being sick, so that I can run away from that pile of homework. But when I am sick, it feels as though, I have lacked behind. Although, I wasn't really, that much behind..................................
I had 2 consecutive new year, filled with uncertainties. It sets me wondering, whether or not I had made the right choice, whether I should have so sturbornly sticked with my own instincts, whether I would have been better elsewhere. Its dumb, for such thoughts to surface at this point of the time. When you have invested so much in it.
There's still time................. Its really a nice phrase to make things look less complicated. But at times, probably it's just another reason for me to run away from facts.
To be frank, I don't really like where I am(and if I could I would add this phrase - probably from the start, from the moment I entered that door). & yup, some people do notice that I am turning bit "hermit" recently.......................... Would it get worst? I have no idea......... The reason - Some people r pissing me off....... with a bag full of lies.
Asthma after 14 yrs...... what a joke. Probably, I would be bound to another joke soon. But trust me, I swear, I would never let what happen last year happen.
Guess, I would want a slower paced life recently & I think I am adapting to that. Don't want to get burn out before the real things. But neither should I be too complacent, for I agree, there's simply too much uncertainties & lies going around me.
-------------------------------
CNY2010
I call it - 老虎出来咬人。haha. Could have enjoyed it more, if only I wasn't sick. Ang Pao wise, hmmm not bad this year, cause I got tips for packing ang paos hahah. Overall, not much difference, probably lesser............. But the $$ also not I keep so not much difference.
Food wise, bad........ My alll time favourites, pineapple tarts, sugee cookies, floss rolls........... All so near, yet so far........
-------------------------------
NUH
hmmm, not as bad as I thought. Bit worried initially but, generally was fine......
幸福是要自己去争取的
I had 2 consecutive new year, filled with uncertainties. It sets me wondering, whether or not I had made the right choice, whether I should have so sturbornly sticked with my own instincts, whether I would have been better elsewhere. Its dumb, for such thoughts to surface at this point of the time. When you have invested so much in it.
There's still time................. Its really a nice phrase to make things look less complicated. But at times, probably it's just another reason for me to run away from facts.
To be frank, I don't really like where I am(and if I could I would add this phrase - probably from the start, from the moment I entered that door). & yup, some people do notice that I am turning bit "hermit" recently.......................... Would it get worst? I have no idea......... The reason - Some people r pissing me off....... with a bag full of lies.
Asthma after 14 yrs...... what a joke. Probably, I would be bound to another joke soon. But trust me, I swear, I would never let what happen last year happen.
Guess, I would want a slower paced life recently & I think I am adapting to that. Don't want to get burn out before the real things. But neither should I be too complacent, for I agree, there's simply too much uncertainties & lies going around me.
-------------------------------
CNY2010
I call it - 老虎出来咬人。haha. Could have enjoyed it more, if only I wasn't sick. Ang Pao wise, hmmm not bad this year, cause I got tips for packing ang paos hahah. Overall, not much difference, probably lesser............. But the $$ also not I keep so not much difference.
Food wise, bad........ My alll time favourites, pineapple tarts, sugee cookies, floss rolls........... All so near, yet so far........
-------------------------------
NUH
hmmm, not as bad as I thought. Bit worried initially but, generally was fine......
幸福是要自己去争取的
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
It really takes quite a bit of effort to comfort yourself that, life is full of ups & downs and you should be prepare to deal with the obstacles ahead.
But it takes even more
- to encourage yourself stay afloat, as deep inside, you already know that you are sinking (fast).
- to believe that miracles will repeat itself.
- to hold faith that the skies will clear & the rainbow would be there smiling at me.
yes, indeed, the road ahead is still long. ( 8 more months, I am just pregnant for 1 month & those morning sickness will just worsen) It's still too early to tell whether at the end of the day, I will sense the warm and welcoming light from the sun, or be trapped further down the endless tunnel. But perhaps, one thing is for sure - just try your best, and let nature take its course.
人活着就是上苍的恩赐, 人的举止是上苍的恩点
But it takes even more
- to encourage yourself stay afloat, as deep inside, you already know that you are sinking (fast).
- to believe that miracles will repeat itself.
- to hold faith that the skies will clear & the rainbow would be there smiling at me.
yes, indeed, the road ahead is still long. ( 8 more months, I am just pregnant for 1 month & those morning sickness will just worsen) It's still too early to tell whether at the end of the day, I will sense the warm and welcoming light from the sun, or be trapped further down the endless tunnel. But perhaps, one thing is for sure - just try your best, and let nature take its course.
人活着就是上苍的恩赐, 人的举止是上苍的恩点
Monday, February 8, 2010
If there was another way, I would not be here today.......................................... I did be back, somewhere I enjoy............................ somewhere far away. There's this utterly wrong feeling of wanting to repeat this year, becasue I simply don't feel prepared for it. Feel like giving up.
It's my choice, I ought to carry on, till I really fall..............
It's my choice, I ought to carry on, till I really fall..............
Friday, February 5, 2010
Its friday :) I simply love it.
Chemistry tutition was really , I feel like using this word, it was awesome. I actually enjoyed her lessons more than those tutorials in school.& I managed to really understand things, rather than " Dunno , just memorise " ( a famous quote that I heard since day 1 in chem lesson).
& the other thing good about the location ( not considering the fact that it takes exactly 1hr/ trip to or forth my house), I get to buy Marks & Spencer's food & those bread that tantalises my taste buds.
--------------------
Sum up the week.............
Chem quiz , was wasted. I actually knew the correct answers & I had no time, well it's over.
Math, ayo, horrible timings & that horrible teacher, which any o how changed the question.
GP, is really fun without tests & stuffs. & I am sort of the motivated & inspired.
CCA showase was fun :) With ttp being so enthu, missing chemistry lesson, GP lecture.
Got this phrase today..............
Success is not without "U" .
起浮不定
Chemistry tutition was really , I feel like using this word, it was awesome. I actually enjoyed her lessons more than those tutorials in school.& I managed to really understand things, rather than " Dunno , just memorise " ( a famous quote that I heard since day 1 in chem lesson).
& the other thing good about the location ( not considering the fact that it takes exactly 1hr/ trip to or forth my house), I get to buy Marks & Spencer's food & those bread that tantalises my taste buds.
--------------------
Sum up the week.............
Chem quiz , was wasted. I actually knew the correct answers & I had no time, well it's over.
Math, ayo, horrible timings & that horrible teacher, which any o how changed the question.
GP, is really fun without tests & stuffs. & I am sort of the motivated & inspired.
CCA showase was fun :) With ttp being so enthu, missing chemistry lesson, GP lecture.
Got this phrase today..............
Success is not without "U" .
起浮不定
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Another awful day. I was rather sadden by bio, I thought I had 22.5 when I got it back. But the fact is that, Mr wong added wrongly. haizzzzz, I got all the eplanation wrong, so my 7/10 MCQ was of no help here. Thus, I ended up with 20.5. A miserable pass. Ee Hong, who f..... sat beside me, kept quiet for 2.5 hours of lesson ( 1.5 bio, 1 chem), and gave me that sian diao look. Whilc sort of the distrubs me abit also. So I sat that 2.5hour quiet also.
CSE, I can only say, the more I attend the Theme 3's tutorials, the more I feel that "I am suitable for Econs".
PE, being in a handball incident prone class, I finally got my share. lols, my specs took the blow for me. My levis frame went out of shape. Hmmm, wonder if I should be thick skined to change it to a esprit one. XD .
& I am more or less settled, that I dont want to go for CNY celebrations next week. Thus I would most likely have my dental clashed with it.
CSE, I can only say, the more I attend the Theme 3's tutorials, the more I feel that "I am suitable for Econs".
PE, being in a handball incident prone class, I finally got my share. lols, my specs took the blow for me. My levis frame went out of shape. Hmmm, wonder if I should be thick skined to change it to a esprit one. XD .
& I am more or less settled, that I dont want to go for CNY celebrations next week. Thus I would most likely have my dental clashed with it.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Hmmm, school................ BAD. Just don't feel in place, there's still this feel, I am not suitable for JC kinda feeling. It's dumb I know. & I know the principal was rite that, I should get rid of it soon. But I don't really know, who to consult or who to tell. Cause it's like people will think that I am insane.
Class is as usual, mundane & banal. I am getting sick of it, the lessons & tutorials. I am getting abit emotional during lessons these days.( IDK why, don't ask me) Probably that's why, I sit alone during CSE lecture today, I sit like a bit apart from the rest. I know I should sit with someone during tutorial, cause if not I will just let my emotions take over me sometimes & I will lost track of where the lecturer is at.
I realised that my greatest flaw is that i can't even express my doubts clearly & thus no help could be offered.
Miss Aw was, as usual, fierce, she felt that we have not respected her, for a simple reason, people skipping her lesson. But I think, she doesnt even know that I was away. From the abit " shocked" face she gave me when she saw me standing up, then asking me to go back.
I made a promise to myself, I will not go prom & next yr, I will only collect after people collected theirs.
GP wasted enough of my time le. Time for bio & math le.
过去,当今,未来
Class is as usual, mundane & banal. I am getting sick of it, the lessons & tutorials. I am getting abit emotional during lessons these days.( IDK why, don't ask me) Probably that's why, I sit alone during CSE lecture today, I sit like a bit apart from the rest. I know I should sit with someone during tutorial, cause if not I will just let my emotions take over me sometimes & I will lost track of where the lecturer is at.
I realised that my greatest flaw is that i can't even express my doubts clearly & thus no help could be offered.
Miss Aw was, as usual, fierce, she felt that we have not respected her, for a simple reason, people skipping her lesson. But I think, she doesnt even know that I was away. From the abit " shocked" face she gave me when she saw me standing up, then asking me to go back.
I made a promise to myself, I will not go prom & next yr, I will only collect after people collected theirs.
GP wasted enough of my time le. Time for bio & math le.
过去,当今,未来
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