It's a pleasant surprise. Thank you.

虽然是决定了,但难免掩饰不了心中无耐,忧郁的心情. 担心是少不了的, 迟疑就免了吧.毕竟这似乎是唯一的选择了. 希望一切安好.

WOke up today, trying to convience myself that everything was just a dream. But, the reailty is, YESTERDAY HAPPENED. My aspirations are down the drain.

Had lunch and movie with Mr Ching, Julian and ee hong thankyou for being there to occupy my thoughts. Watched 大世界, movie was somewad ok, I only like the ending part.

Sort of made up my mind, I'll try chinese in NTU. If possible under scholarship with NIE?? HAHA I might be dreaming. I know that, I might sound as though I am making this decision out of sheer desperate.But, at least, on a second thought, chinese had been something closer to my heart than any other things ( other than bussiness or accountancy). So perhaps, it's heaven's will for me to move towards that direction.

尘埃落定.

Sometimes I wondered, how much harder must I try, then I would get it. Am I destineed to be 不是读书的料？ CC CCB AB this is my A level grades, it does reflect my level of work&effort isnt it?? lol, wad a joke. Suffering so much for straight Cs...... nice one. hahaha

Wad a nice ending to everything/ 2 years.

I hold back my tears, for once, I felt that I was strong, haha, but I need fresh air away from others.

Hi kc, I doubt u r reading this, but still congrats. U have the option& choses to make, while I hang on to the miserable truths.

U r blessed, and I am not. Thats wad I would like to say.

Take it as a stepping stone, life's not about grades, Muahahah, I lead a life in singapore, if its nt about grades, wad's it about? Someone, pls, use another angle to measure life beyond grades. I still see them connecting together.

I doubt I could survive on an ITE cert, which my dad lived on, earning enough to purchase propertie"S" & I stress the "S" , feed the other 3 mouths at home, at the very end have savings enough to bring me through uni(without a loan) and yes probably not that much but still enough for retirement.( bearing in mind not a single cent was from his parents)

I wished that I could be a kampung kid now, with a piece of land, some $$ no need that much, in malaysia, that allows me to farm, eat my own produce and thats it. Away from the bustle and hussle. But these are just dreams and probably a pipe one.

At least, I won't have to lost a close friend, get hooked on to medication, have sleepless nites and at the very end lost everything that seem so important from the start - GRADES .

I lost too much in these 2 years. I would have ignored the grades if I knew this was THE END

I feeling quite disturbed that, time passes so freaking fast that I am already 3 months passed 2011, that I am right into the eve of A level release and that I have to face wadever nonsence grade I have produced 4 months back..............

I doubt I will hold on to the fact that as the clock ticks by, I'll have to spend more effort to calm myself, get myself into the relaxed mode, such that I will remain normal.

I do hope that by choosing to work tonite is a good option to occupy my brains with some sweet stuffs, such that I can cast the utter disgusting fact of judgement day aside and probably have a final good nite rest ( before the awakening judement day that will knock some sense into me, that I have to face the reality)

I wish that it will be a fine day tmr, and that I wont recieve something disappointing ever again!!!

Finally, to 09s02, may tmr be a pleasant one for you, but if it turns out slightly sour, take it in stride, for it's not the alphabets that determines us.

it's final, 4th march 2011, A level candidates can report to their respective institution to collect their GCE A level results after 2.30 PM.............

Hmm, 3 more hours & I'll be at Conrad, working ......... But I am rather glad recently, cause I get to run the ballroom & functions le :) yeah, finally, I am doing things beyound waffles & ice cream haha :)

Anyways, haizzz, it also means that it's less than 1 week, 5 days to be specific, to the results release........... Feeling quite nostalgic about it.....

Had an awesome day out with Ee hong, Jasper, Julian, Cindy, Hazel today :) But I think I'll elaborate about it in the later part of my post tonite.

For now I would like to ventilate a bit, I am also sarting to have jitters over my results next friday liao. though it's not official, but the rumour seems to have transfromed into a fact that " NEXT FRIDAY 4TH MARCH 2011 WILL BE JUDEGEMNET DAY IN WHICH, A LEVEL RESULTS IS RELEASED" Though the timing is yet to be confirmed ( revealed by the relavant authorities via the singapore one & only media company MEDIACORP lol) but yup, I like all normal kids out there stay firmed to affirming this rumour as a fact.

& here I am worrying about the day, will I be in tears of despair (again) ? Wad if I fail my GP? wad if I can't chose my path again? What if I fail ( or rather, get straight Ds ??) ? & there's one more question now, WILL I HYPERVENTILATE? ( I am like touchwood) Everyone hopes that our phone will ring after 9am on 4th march to congratulate us, but the number of calls that would eventually be made has already been fixed. Mandate of heaven has been fixed, awaiting to be delivered at the scared moment to each indiviual............. Haizzzzzzzzzz

Anyway back to reality, had a great time at jurong point today with above mentioned people, they have made my day or leave worthwhile :) Had ala cart buffet at Zhou's kitchen, hmmm food was ok ba, service quite hayo, Played monopoly deal at kopitiam. Movie was I am number 4. Dinner was fish & chips. Had an awesome chat with both hazel & ee hong :)

Life's unpredictable, we are bestowed with the ability to choose but this does not translate into guranteed entittlement or ownership. This is reality, this is life........

Went out to shop & dinner with Jasper only cause no one can make it................. Initially only plan to recomb Bugis, but ended up outside Pan pacific, passed by Conrad, entered Suntec, visit Amanda at Croc's sale ( which smell rubbery), shopped at Suntec............. At the end of the trip, jasper had 3 bermuda's, 2 long pants & made a new membership while I was the proud owner of a new shirt at a dirt cheap price hahah

Had tea at dunno wad, ate brownies, dinner was 南翔小笼包............................

Hmmm, heard stories of NS, it's like s**t seriously ( I am not revealing any secrets, so M.NDEF dun sue me hahaha) 60 ppl to 1 or 8 toilets depending on yr luck. It's like WTH. Hmmm, jeremy say I will die inside & I sorta agreeeee lol

Job is getting more & more boring, ttm .............................. My life is surrounded with sweet stuffs like macroons, cheesecakes& financer which are dam boring to make. Y not let me made cheese sticks or bread more often, or maybe strawberry with chocolate coating

Has been wondering if , things have worsen, nites are getting longer & worst................... The question remains, whether its a good idea to see a psychologist only after I recieve my A's....... I thought, I should see him or her first, for perhaps they could prepare me physically, mentally & emotionally. Haizzz but how do I change the schedule??

Hmmm, leave after valentine's day seems great, afterall, my v day nite was irritated by some idiots again............. But , o well, at least there's cakes & things to keep me company :) Roses for me to play with hahah.

Today's leave was sort of the very much well recieved by me, though I am so freaking free that I dunno wad to do now :)

U sensed the message & I am pretty glad that you did. Its a good end, thank you, good bye :) No doubt you will survive, but still all the best

Its been a month since my last post, has been busy catching up. Literally met everyone that I am keen in meeting & catching up & gossping with. Did lots of shopping at Bugis, orchard, suntec......... Astons, etc..........

It's also been a month since I started work at conrad, everyone is awesome, except non other than SP. The chefs are nice to offer me food :), the cooks+waiters are good company( the jokes, the fun is memorable) & my big teochew sister which speaks to me in only teochew, turning the kitchen into teochew restuarant kitchen hahaha............... Pay is ok, with CPF contributions :) ( SP usually ruin my day so I shall not comment much about it)

Had a pretty bad throat infection, with white dots in my throat, seen a freaking ex specialist at Mt Elizebeth hospital................. Tried antibiotics that was once considered allergicccc........ Decided to heed the advice of continuing my medication & see a psychologist now :) hope it will get better( though I doubt it will get any better soon but still yah).............

3 more mths to NS, everyone felt that I should start working out hahah....... Tekong seems like hmmmm, unfriendly still. Nvm, will unfold that mysterious look it gives soon........

1 more mth to results, hmmm I would say I am starting to have jitters? hahah Planned to have 3 consequtive days of leave upon recieving the results release date, afterall I don't know how it will turn out & how I will react ( though I sort of the prepared for the worst)

CNY, had a great time this year, visits to relatives house was reduced significantly & I am quite glad with that. & Instead, visits to friends house really made my day :) Had my first experience of being 庄稼or 财神 at jasper's house ( playing 21 dots, which I lost quite abit of $$$$). Played Wii at Julian's house........... Thank you everyone for the fun & company :)

As usual, temple trips were included in this yr's new year itinary. Such trip usually gives me hint on things, but this yr the hints seems to go haywired, caused there's chaos in the temple....... lols, my wishes are simple, hope they come true. I emphasise on certain things more than those more important ones, wrong priorities but certain things does meant alot to me. Especially after a hard year.

I should hve answered, replied or rather contact you, but I choose not. There's certain things that I should try to erase & let go of some past, till than peace will return............. Avoiding is not an option, but I hope the message has been sent.

On a lighter niote, there's still tonnes of cny goodies, totally & I stress TOTALLY untoched at home........... perhaps this is one of the perils of working in a pastry department hahah, pastries, cakes & all things sweet, looses their luster and appeal to me..................

在此祝愿各界万事胜心皆如意,百德吉祥皆可达,身心安康,福慧増长,六时吉祥,步步高升

I think I am beginig to adapt & enjoy my job le. X.X Though the fact that the morning & afternoon shift are gonna change irks me beyond believe................. Cause, I enjoy being with the nite shift people more than the morning ones ( thats definate & for sure).

Waffles, crepes, brownies, sufflce, ice cream, eeeww , may sound nice, but yucks, I am sick of them especially to waffles. standing at the waffle station making waffles(EVERYDAY), scooping ice cream is turning me off towards such delicaies........... Cakes, mouse, pies, tarts( bearing in mind that some are even plated with edible gold or silver foil) simply turns me off nowadays. Cheesecakes,macroons & strawberries used to be my weakest point. Nowadays I seem so used to their presence, and probably tired of eating them & throwing them into the dustbin that I stopped being so fatancised by them. & on top of that, the evil karma I attained thanks to pouring them away (DAILY)......................... Even lemon tea, seems so common recently, considering the fact that I can use the lemon flesh to make lemonade ( cause if I dun use it, they will throw) or simply exit the pastry kitchen & head for the canteen for free unlimited lemon tea...............

But I managed to learn a new term today the word chocolates could actually be replaced by the word praline hahahah, next time I will eat praline & not chocolates, sounds contradictory rite lols

k, got my pay today.............. :) It's like finally hahaha............. Went shopping at suntec, brought a shirt X.X hahaha

2011, guess this year might be better..........................

Spent the eve of 2011 at Conrad contential Hotel, working as pastry chef...... lols...... It was a unforgetful nite, with good food ( can't risk saying anything, but jasper u definately missed out quite a tonne of good stuff) after the end of food, was a feast for my eyes, at the 4th level of conrad, watched fireworks........... Lovely wad a nice start to the brand new year...............

Had leave today, went out with ee hong, julian & cindy, fun :) ate I forgot wad le, but the company was simply good :) Played monopoly dunno wad, was simply fun & enjoyable. Thank you guys :) for making my day :)

My pay haven't reach me yet !!!!! :( They better pay me or else O$P$ lols jkjk

Time to start my new year shopping hahas :)

Attained 2010

Though it is official that my 2 miserable years in JC has finally ended, in a rather unpredictable manner. I am glad that I haven chosen this path, instead of the others. For, the people that I met, the friendships that I made and more importantly the memories that I collected are priceless...................................

Chih Kiat

Though I have been in 3/4E3 with you but interactions only started in JC. Sincere apologies with regards to those frictions & misunderstandings that arises due to my insensitivity. Thank you for reading & tolerating the list of smses, hearing the stories, staying within reachwhen I needed help and more importantly walking this 2 years with me. The memories that we shared :)

Ee Hong

It's been 2 short years, but still thank you. Really appreciated your presence & heartfelt gratidue for being there for me when I fainted ( caused u stayed throughout). Though, I always argue with you, but it's through these small little arguements that made school more bearable, more enjoyable, more interesting & definately more pleasant in the past few months, where school had beeen hell. I'll miss these small little 斗嘴talks and the presence of u as a peer, as a friend. 朋友一生一辈子。。。。。。

Elisa

Sometimes I wondered: Probably you are fated to transfer to PJC, to talk & gossip with me hahah. Your presence not only changed the dynamics of your class but also touched the lifes of others . Would definately miss the walk to & forth school with you :) & thank you for allowing me to confide into you.....

Hui Jie

Biggest in size in class..... Your presence livens up the otherwise dull & mundane classroom. There's really much for me to learn from you. In the way you see things :) Thank you for being there to lend a listening ear. Apologies for being unable to return you that favour when you needed it.

Jasper

Famed for your dark skin & moustache, would definately missed those days interacting with you and really admire you for the way you treasured friendships:) & thanks for the job :) hahah Think I know you better in that few days hahah

Julian

Hmmm, you really lives up to the name of being Mr Nice guy , going out all the way to help your friends & peers. Felt gald& blessed that such a kind soul like you is actually here to help. :)

Pei Jun
Thanks for being there to lend a helping hand throughout these 2 miserable years. Your presence really let me felt that I am cherished :)

09S02
Gussed I appeared a bit of the anti social by not attending some of the outings& gatherings, and disappearing during class in the last few months made you guys wondered why... But still, thank you for tolerating and understanding my absence. Glad that I was part of this class and really treasured the moments. thank you. :)

Mdm Song & Mrs Low

Don't really know how to express my feelings of gratidute to both of you, for if not for your presence, I doubt I would be here today. Thank you for being there to listen, help, advice and guide me along this dim path. And really appreciate your presence. thank you :)
----------------------------

Men always tried to connect teh dots infront of us, which makes us felt pressureised, inderior and helpless. Yet, few tried to connect the dots that we have uncovered and left on our pathway to nirvana. For, it is not the ones infront that shed light into our lives, it is those that we left and discovered that direcft and nagvigate us to greater heights................

Deep within me I know that I am running away from some things that I will have to face it sooner or later, yet the overwhelming fear, has made me succumb to isolating myself from facts.

On the eve of the New year, let the past be the past and lets treasure our presence, behold our future. Many thanks to those that have left an impression, impacted, changed and helped me on this tedious path. For without you guys, I woldnt be what I am today.

感恩三世诸天大德神佛的护佑与加持，愿来年百尺竿头更上一层楼。。。。。。。

Happy New Year, and May the year ahead be a blessed and smooth ones to all.......

Well, have been doing nothing much aftermath the hotel job saga, that ended with me being re-employed, after being sacked for 24hours, because apparently they wanted to show me colour, despite facing the fate of shortage of staffs.........

Did quite alot of Window shopping instead, Marina, Suntec, Citylink, Tempanies 1 etc...... eyed on quite afew shirt, but I will only spend after I earn haha.... Topmen, Men studio, Esprit, hmmmm hahaha

Job interview again, tmr at the other end of the world, Changi Aiport Terminal 2...... lols.....

Pondering these few days over my last post of the year.... My experiences......... My life..........

Holiday'10

Back from vietnam & Jessie's bday.....

& I am pretty bored, left with nothing much to do.

Vietnam trip 2010

Hmmm, 8 days trip & I am almost done with touring the once France colony( almost, cause I have yet to visit the World renowed SAPA, famed ffor the scenic padi fields). Flew via Vietnam airlines first to Hanoi ( Capital of Vietnam), toured the World heritage site Halong Bay ( which comprises of many many islands & caves), had lunch on board the junk that ferried us around the Halong area. Visited the many antique looking temples, that carried a distinctive rustic charm. Took a cyclo ride round the Old quarters of Hanoi, due to time constraint, we didnt manage to shop at any of the shops in the 36 streets, each with their own distinct wares on sale.

Rushed off to the Hanoi airport, boarded the flight after dinner at the 4th level of the airport. It was a 55 mintues flight to Hue, a dsistinctively unique heritage site filled with a myraid well preserved cultures. Visited imperial palaces, imperial tombs that were more like palaces, with lakes and carvings of dragons and plaques with chinese characters that made me felt as though I was in China instead. Had something so called "Imperial cusine", which is basically a pseudo meal of Emperors, with musical performance, rather boring...... Afterwhich, it was a ride of a life time... 4 hours bus ride on bumpy road to Danang(which makes me feel the effects of motion sickness, regret my trip to Vietnam instead of Korea or Australia hahah), where Canon produces those marvellous photos for their advertisements.

Reached Danag at nite, just in time for dinner at this marvellously "antique decorated "restaurant with an ancestral hall that we only see in the little noya show, but too bad, I was too giddy to enjoy the ambience....... After dinner, checked in at this 4 star hotel, but it wasnt really a nice experience. For, my 4 star room had windows that couldnt be fully shut, resulting in gushes of wind blowing into my room producing this utterly errie ghostly sound that forces me out of the room seeking for a change to another suite........... Luckily, everything went well, and next morning changed my view of vietnam, visit to an aged old temple and various scenic areas via boat relaxed my tensed soul........ Went to this rustic town, with shophouses specialised in silk waving, wood carving, marble carvings and agarwood products, (shopping hahaha)........ Next was lunch and trip down to the seaside of Danag which is ranked top ten of world's most beautiful beaches. After which we proceeded to the domestic airport of Danag ( I was thanking my lucky stars that I am flying off at Danang and not Hue, cause the 4 hours of bumpy ride, really wasnt a joke!) for flight to Ho Chi Minh City which was delayed by 40 mintues after a 3 hour wait at the airport.... zzzz

Ho Chi Minh city was much more modern & developed with familiar brands- UOB, BREADTALK, KFC, DBS........More livable and inevitabley roads flooded with motorists. CuChi tunnels and Mekong river wasnt places that I was interested in, afterall I have been there before and Cuchi tunnels made me screamed like an idiot ( and was hence not advisable by doctors for me to visit) Mekong river, nothing changed - the fertile soil, muddy waters, fruits they served, coconut water they gaved, just that there's more stalls selling trinkets meant for tourists..... It was the dinner at 外省街, dinner on board Mekong nite curise, shopping at Ben Than market that interested me...... Last day was free and easy, was lucky enough to have 2 tour mates to bring us to this shopping mall hahahha

Shopping was ok, didnt get much food this time round, but got quite some non perishables, my holiday shopping list was almost done ( hehe). Got quite a few good deals... :) Mum was in particularly happy with her buys, afterall she got quite some stuffs at a steal.... hahahah

But this trip was rather an enlightenment.... The life we lead in Singapore was perhaps really world class, afterall children ( Secondary level) in Vietnam surivied with mere 20000 dong per day ( sounds like some astronomical figures but the actual conversion rate was 15000 dong to 1 SGD) and mineral water was only 2000 Dong at suoermarkets ( thats when u dont compare it with the 2 USD , which my dad gladly paid for at the airport and even lamented that he bought sky juice lols)

Now that I am almost done with relaxing, time to get some jobs & spend my holiday in a more organised manner.......... My table is still in an disgusting mess..........

Perhaps I should have gone for prom.......

Finally, reached Ho Chi Minh City :)

There's alot that I wanted to type, the estacy in me, the joy of finishing 2 years of ordeal etc...... But I dunno how to start haha...

After the paper1, went lot 1, with the guys for so called "breakfast" then, went around haunting for shoes with Ee Hong..... Then went home........ Then went to IMM with my brother with the intention of Fish & Co, but haizzz nvm, at least it was nice :) Then steamboat at Mr Lim's house, felt quite bad, caused we made a mess out of his house, but still, I enjoyed it, thanks alot :)

Today, woke up at 7.30 am super early !!!! Made my way to NUH. Ended up being late for 0.5 hours haha, my condition improved :) But still, medication is as per normal. & surprisingly, like wad I was being told, alot of people is there indeed, cause I manage to find 2 down there......... Rushed off to Jurong Point for movie......

Off to Vietnam tomorrow, not exactly excited, but still, finally, I am getting OUT OF SINGAPORE :) A rest, that I deserved.... ( quoted from doctor)

2 years passed, THE END to this horrible chapter of my life & I am about to embark on another....... Heart felt gratiude to those that help extended their help to me in a way or another. & 09S02, THANK YOU :) for the experience, care & more importantly the memories.

雨过了就有路。。。。