Attained 2010

Though it is official that my 2 miserable years in JC has finally ended, in a rather unpredictable manner. I am glad that I haven chosen this path, instead of the others. For, the people that I met, the friendships that I made and more importantly the memories that I collected are priceless...................................

Chih Kiat

Though I have been in 3/4E3 with you but interactions only started in JC. Sincere apologies with regards to those frictions & misunderstandings that arises due to my insensitivity. Thank you for reading & tolerating the list of smses, hearing the stories, staying within reachwhen I needed help and more importantly walking this 2 years with me. The memories that we shared :)

Ee Hong

It's been 2 short years, but still thank you. Really appreciated your presence & heartfelt gratidue for being there for me when I fainted ( caused u stayed throughout). Though, I always argue with you, but it's through these small little arguements that made school more bearable, more enjoyable, more interesting & definately more pleasant in the past few months, where school had beeen hell. I'll miss these small little 斗嘴talks and the presence of u as a peer, as a friend. 朋友一生一辈子。。。。。。

Elisa

Sometimes I wondered: Probably you are fated to transfer to PJC, to talk & gossip with me hahah. Your presence not only changed the dynamics of your class but also touched the lifes of others . Would definately miss the walk to & forth school with you :) & thank you for allowing me to confide into you.....

Hui Jie

Biggest in size in class..... Your presence livens up the otherwise dull & mundane classroom. There's really much for me to learn from you. In the way you see things :) Thank you for being there to lend a listening ear. Apologies for being unable to return you that favour when you needed it.

Jasper

Famed for your dark skin & moustache, would definately missed those days interacting with you and really admire you for the way you treasured friendships:) & thanks for the job :) hahah Think I know you better in that few days hahah

Julian

Hmmm, you really lives up to the name of being Mr Nice guy , going out all the way to help your friends & peers. Felt gald& blessed that such a kind soul like you is actually here to help. :)

Pei Jun
Thanks for being there to lend a helping hand throughout these 2 miserable years. Your presence really let me felt that I am cherished :)

09S02
Gussed I appeared a bit of the anti social by not attending some of the outings& gatherings, and disappearing during class in the last few months made you guys wondered why... But still, thank you for tolerating and understanding my absence. Glad that I was part of this class and really treasured the moments. thank you. :)

Mdm Song & Mrs Low

Don't really know how to express my feelings of gratidute to both of you, for if not for your presence, I doubt I would be here today. Thank you for being there to listen, help, advice and guide me along this dim path. And really appreciate your presence. thank you :)
----------------------------

Men always tried to connect teh dots infront of us, which makes us felt pressureised, inderior and helpless. Yet, few tried to connect the dots that we have uncovered and left on our pathway to nirvana. For, it is not the ones infront that shed light into our lives, it is those that we left and discovered that direcft and nagvigate us to greater heights................

Deep within me I know that I am running away from some things that I will have to face it sooner or later, yet the overwhelming fear, has made me succumb to isolating myself from facts.

On the eve of the New year, let the past be the past and lets treasure our presence, behold our future. Many thanks to those that have left an impression, impacted, changed and helped me on this tedious path. For without you guys, I woldnt be what I am today.

感恩三世诸天大德神佛的护佑与加持，愿来年百尺竿头更上一层楼。。。。。。。

Happy New Year, and May the year ahead be a blessed and smooth ones to all.......

Well, have been doing nothing much aftermath the hotel job saga, that ended with me being re-employed, after being sacked for 24hours, because apparently they wanted to show me colour, despite facing the fate of shortage of staffs.........

Did quite alot of Window shopping instead, Marina, Suntec, Citylink, Tempanies 1 etc...... eyed on quite afew shirt, but I will only spend after I earn haha.... Topmen, Men studio, Esprit, hmmmm hahaha

Job interview again, tmr at the other end of the world, Changi Aiport Terminal 2...... lols.....

Pondering these few days over my last post of the year.... My experiences......... My life..........

Holiday'10

Back from vietnam & Jessie's bday.....

& I am pretty bored, left with nothing much to do.

Vietnam trip 2010

Hmmm, 8 days trip & I am almost done with touring the once France colony( almost, cause I have yet to visit the World renowed SAPA, famed ffor the scenic padi fields). Flew via Vietnam airlines first to Hanoi ( Capital of Vietnam), toured the World heritage site Halong Bay ( which comprises of many many islands & caves), had lunch on board the junk that ferried us around the Halong area. Visited the many antique looking temples, that carried a distinctive rustic charm. Took a cyclo ride round the Old quarters of Hanoi, due to time constraint, we didnt manage to shop at any of the shops in the 36 streets, each with their own distinct wares on sale.

Rushed off to the Hanoi airport, boarded the flight after dinner at the 4th level of the airport. It was a 55 mintues flight to Hue, a dsistinctively unique heritage site filled with a myraid well preserved cultures. Visited imperial palaces, imperial tombs that were more like palaces, with lakes and carvings of dragons and plaques with chinese characters that made me felt as though I was in China instead. Had something so called "Imperial cusine", which is basically a pseudo meal of Emperors, with musical performance, rather boring...... Afterwhich, it was a ride of a life time... 4 hours bus ride on bumpy road to Danang(which makes me feel the effects of motion sickness, regret my trip to Vietnam instead of Korea or Australia hahah), where Canon produces those marvellous photos for their advertisements.

Reached Danag at nite, just in time for dinner at this marvellously "antique decorated "restaurant with an ancestral hall that we only see in the little noya show, but too bad, I was too giddy to enjoy the ambience....... After dinner, checked in at this 4 star hotel, but it wasnt really a nice experience. For, my 4 star room had windows that couldnt be fully shut, resulting in gushes of wind blowing into my room producing this utterly errie ghostly sound that forces me out of the room seeking for a change to another suite........... Luckily, everything went well, and next morning changed my view of vietnam, visit to an aged old temple and various scenic areas via boat relaxed my tensed soul........ Went to this rustic town, with shophouses specialised in silk waving, wood carving, marble carvings and agarwood products, (shopping hahaha)........ Next was lunch and trip down to the seaside of Danag which is ranked top ten of world's most beautiful beaches. After which we proceeded to the domestic airport of Danag ( I was thanking my lucky stars that I am flying off at Danang and not Hue, cause the 4 hours of bumpy ride, really wasnt a joke!) for flight to Ho Chi Minh City which was delayed by 40 mintues after a 3 hour wait at the airport.... zzzz

Ho Chi Minh city was much more modern & developed with familiar brands- UOB, BREADTALK, KFC, DBS........More livable and inevitabley roads flooded with motorists. CuChi tunnels and Mekong river wasnt places that I was interested in, afterall I have been there before and Cuchi tunnels made me screamed like an idiot ( and was hence not advisable by doctors for me to visit) Mekong river, nothing changed - the fertile soil, muddy waters, fruits they served, coconut water they gaved, just that there's more stalls selling trinkets meant for tourists..... It was the dinner at 外省街, dinner on board Mekong nite curise, shopping at Ben Than market that interested me...... Last day was free and easy, was lucky enough to have 2 tour mates to bring us to this shopping mall hahahha

Shopping was ok, didnt get much food this time round, but got quite some non perishables, my holiday shopping list was almost done ( hehe). Got quite a few good deals... :) Mum was in particularly happy with her buys, afterall she got quite some stuffs at a steal.... hahahah

But this trip was rather an enlightenment.... The life we lead in Singapore was perhaps really world class, afterall children ( Secondary level) in Vietnam surivied with mere 20000 dong per day ( sounds like some astronomical figures but the actual conversion rate was 15000 dong to 1 SGD) and mineral water was only 2000 Dong at suoermarkets ( thats when u dont compare it with the 2 USD , which my dad gladly paid for at the airport and even lamented that he bought sky juice lols)

Now that I am almost done with relaxing, time to get some jobs & spend my holiday in a more organised manner.......... My table is still in an disgusting mess..........

Perhaps I should have gone for prom.......

Finally, reached Ho Chi Minh City :)

There's alot that I wanted to type, the estacy in me, the joy of finishing 2 years of ordeal etc...... But I dunno how to start haha...

After the paper1, went lot 1, with the guys for so called "breakfast" then, went around haunting for shoes with Ee Hong..... Then went home........ Then went to IMM with my brother with the intention of Fish & Co, but haizzz nvm, at least it was nice :) Then steamboat at Mr Lim's house, felt quite bad, caused we made a mess out of his house, but still, I enjoyed it, thanks alot :)

Today, woke up at 7.30 am super early !!!! Made my way to NUH. Ended up being late for 0.5 hours haha, my condition improved :) But still, medication is as per normal. & surprisingly, like wad I was being told, alot of people is there indeed, cause I manage to find 2 down there......... Rushed off to Jurong Point for movie......

Off to Vietnam tomorrow, not exactly excited, but still, finally, I am getting OUT OF SINGAPORE :) A rest, that I deserved.... ( quoted from doctor)

2 years passed, THE END to this horrible chapter of my life & I am about to embark on another....... Heart felt gratiude to those that help extended their help to me in a way or another. & 09S02, THANK YOU :) for the experience, care & more importantly the memories.

雨过了就有路。。。。

It's like finally, almost over, left with 40 MCQ (multiple choice question) & it will be over.

Should have done CSE at a faster pace, but, whole well its over, who cares, though I felt that my A is gone & B doesnt seems to remain X=

I wanted to say this for very long le...................

Finally, chemistry is over! Its nitemare..............

Paper 3 almost killed me, it almost caused me to retake next year. But I made it :) Was so glad that it was over.

Left with CSE & Bio paper 1. Long waiting time, sian....

Chemistry today was hmmm, I wanted to use the phrase atroucious paper to describe it, but on second thoughts maybe its bit too harsh. But paper 2 isnt very much easier than paper 3, probably is bit easier or probably I was calm enough............

Question one was meant to be a killer, 22 marks, unbelievable.... left with few papers, my chem is almost dead, dun even know how o salvage it from the dire situation now haizzzzz........

Its been a week of exams & I made it safely till now. Everything seems rather fine & probably peaceful till now. Other than idiotic & abnormal chemistry paper which I would very much like to highlight.

Was really devastated initally after the first disaster (chemistry), afterall 38 marks was literally blank, I really really have not much hope for even a B in chemistry now, unless mircals & I mean it MIRACLES- 奇迹 happens. I know harping on to that idiotic chem paper won't make me feel any better. But whenever it strikes me I get nervous & haizzz, afterall it seems as though it is the thing that will break me from my dreams............ Its really really a disaster............... B in prelims & wad's up for A levels???

GP was surprisingly enjoyable, though many said that my points were correct, but I wondered if I did well enough afterall, more than half of S01 did the question of international efforts on global hunger. & my AQ & summary did I focus and zoom into those points correctly?? But, at least I manage to try everything.

Math was hmmm, paper 1 was bit shocking, slightly above average to me. I would say that it would be paper 1 that differentiates an A student from a B student. Paper 2, pls pls pls, I pray & hope that I am not so careless or else I can prepare to go foregin universities le............

Bio, hmmmm I replied Mr Wong's "How how? " sms with " a doable paper, that is way doable than his paper hahah". But paper 3 might be real tough & paper 1 might just push me out of the fight for entry into local uni.

Thats about it, slacked for one day le....................

Just hope that I would end the next few papers with a celebratory mood & fly off 2 days after Bio MCQ to Vietnam.... hahaha

k, its been along long time since I wrote here...................

I am like getting better yes :) Finally, anti depressants are working. But I am getting bit sleepless, my sleep is not sleep, I have sleeps full of dreams, that I almost got sleeping pills...... But I was told to consume the Almaprozam that I was given to make me sleep...........

Haven been studying much recently. X.X Seen people mugging day and nite for the As..... Join the league, on the stage, thats what many around me wanted to. Aspirations, thats what make us humans.....

Insastible needs & wants, I just started bio revision................. wan le......... GP undone at all......... haizzz....... should be mugging le. 8 more days the race will start & it will end in about 40 days.....

My journey is coming to an end, this chapter is closing & I am definately going to cut some people away from my contact list.

I know u too much that I simply hated the sight of you now......... Get lost :)

物竟天择,
势者生存,
败者生存.

闭月羞花，沉鱼落雁

This was what 09s02 wrote for Mrs Lee. Meaningful indeed. Its fast, just a blink of eye & here I am left with 20 days & everything will come to an end. I am blessed enough to be in 02, not 01 ( I would say yuck, if i were there today haha), or in 04 ( I would eeeeeee, cause I don't really clique with the ppl there lol).

Ee hong, Hui jie, Julian, Jasper, ( I doubt you guys will see this but still), heart felt gradtitue, thanks for being there & always being cheerful & bright :) You guys make up my day, especially in my slight improved condition.

光阴似箭， 珍惜当下，展望未来

Was rather pleased last nite, caused I recieved MINDEF letter le. Its full of excuses(haha), finally something off my mind........... At least I can focus on recovery for the next 2 yrs.

I should be mugging now, I know. It's a pretty bad thing this friendships have to end this way, but I no longer cares. People keep saying that, its not the grades that judges you, but thats wad I was feeling. Everyone is mugging le. By now, I have made it clear to all teachers that I had GAD, cause I know I need help with it, if not I also dunno wad to do during exams, I really can't finish most of the paper & the last 15 mintues of every paper makes me feel like shit.....

Still wondetring if I would be in school next friday, I doubt I will. If I had a chance to re live this two years, I swear, I wouldnt have went swimming on that faithful day & I could then rewrite my 2 years, probably I would have felt better.

60 days, & off I go, I would be in Vietnam :) finally a dream come true. But now, my A levels, are more important, to prove it to myself & prove it to others, that I have made it. & to make these tormanting sufferings worthwhile.

I just hope that, I wont be crying like wad I did when I got back my O levels, it was a nightmare that I hope I never experience again. For if not, I doubt I would have the courage to face anything else.................

Actually, only intended to check the portal & shut down the laptop de. But well, facebook & blogger seems too attractive.........

Mum & Dad's back from KL, unfortunately with no clothes at all ( I call it pathetic shopping hahah), instead they were back with a huge box of chocolates ( I meant those brown cardborad boxes not those small small boxes inside) 370 ringgit worth of coca...... hahah its enough to suffice me till end of year le. Apparently, I think is because I told them dark chocolates ( those extremely bitter oness) are good for anxiety, cause there's this dunno wad natural depressants inside, so i think thats wad made them brought 5 boxes of it...... lol & lots of rasins coated with coco.... & 3 boxes of Bei teh soh , 2 boxes of tau sar piah.... thats all. They might just go cameron highlans again this year end, for another event, but I doubt they will. lol

thats bout it, must really start my engine le ..................

Found this quote somewhere, "Humans are like plants. When we are cut, the threat is felt, one will propagate for survival & existence". find it extremely meaningful & afterall this is wad I have been sensing from some people.

k, I have been slacking for the past few days doing I also dunno wad. other than friday.

After bio paper 1, I rushed off to see psych at NUH. Heng, I reach there on time, cause the doctor dunno I was coming(due to the delay by the nurses in sending my file into him) & went off for meeting ( I saw him walking away with my eyes while I was waiting). When the nurses finally realise he was offed, they rushed to confim if I was late & called him back haha.....

NVM that, cause he gt a meeting to attend to & he was already late also lol. He wrote my memo for MINDEF & it is like so so freaking short lol.( really 2 short sentences only!!!) saying I was under his care for my condition & wad medication I was on. hahah, he say if it is not enough I'll have to pay $80 bucks for a medical report which will take him a month to prepare. lols

anyway, medication dosage increased to 1, 10 mg pill / day le :( & according to the psych, my tiredness & wanting to sleep is due to exams haizzzzz, why cant I just be normal ???

After that met mum at JE MRT & went Singapore mint to get my silver pendant :) mum ended up getting another orchid coin, just as I have expected, she seems to have an interest in metals with flora designs..... anyway the pendant was wow :) It's my first PAMP bar ( smth like a gold bar, but is only 1/25 OZ= 6.662g) Lovely, cause they seldom make such small cute little silver bars in swiss :) & more importantly it is sealed in those formal percious metals plastic with assy office seal & certificate number. making me 不舍得open it........ hahah

k, thats about it, mum & dad would be back from KL tonite, they have been away since friday nite to tend to an event cum tour at KL. lol hope she gets me my secret recipe brownies lol

need to really start muging like mad le. cause I have slcked too much.

1 month of studies & delayed gratification
100 times of fullfilled wants & no regrets

haizzz..... I wasted math, totally.... there's so much if only that I wan to say, if only I this & that. The conclusion is both papers are not diffcult, just that my mind was bit too anxious & haizzzz. nvm, full of regrets for paper 2. 30 marks is gone ( completely)......

Fight till the end

k, 1 week of exams & I am like totally drained. Feeling quite tensed, my back all acheing & bit breathless now. Thanks to CSE & Math clashing on the same day, I wonder how am I going to survive GP's marriage with BIO...... , BIO & CHEM 通婚...... X= I think, I will ask for letter to do exams in private just in case, cause I can feel that, my brain& shoulders was v v v tensened today. & I can't even sleep last nite, ( though physically I was, my eyes was closed, but my brain wasn't, I am v sure)

Math, like bio & chem was a disaster, I think I flung bio, completely. I dont know why I so "Kei kiang" to choose question 9. & 2.5 full questions emptied. haha I am dead..... Math, I felt abit wasted, like chemistry, I didnt push myself hard enough. Not that I can't do la, just I was too calm....... I tell myself just try this time, so I really didnt piah....... But, after prelims, I must wake up. There's a dream, I don't wan a pipe dream. X=

But, good thing is, I'll be getting my silver pendant next friday le :) I have longed for it like aeons of decades le :)

一路上
有苦有乐,
雨后彩虹,
海阔天空.

k, I am here to waste time again. But I am feeling ok lah :)

I just woke up form my 4 hour nap, caused I simply didnt sleep last nite ( not that I didnt sleep, its just I dont feel that I was sleeping, cause I slept with tonnes of dreams, making me felt so yuckish) But its normal for me to be like that, at least my brain was working absolutely fine today. :)

GP papaer today, I don't really think I can get a B or C, I onlt hope that Gandi don't always come and irritate me lol & give me my D I am happy le :) There's lots of if only I want to say, if only I got more time for my AQ. If only, I saw my MEDIA question early enough and didnt freaking wasted 10 mintues on that idiotic Singapore Based question that I obviously know wasnt my cup of tea...... lol, but I was glad that at least I saw media & not did Singapore, cause singapore question yucks ttm.

But today's paper proved something, even for GP, practise makes perfect.


最无奈，总是怕慢人家一拍

由来了...................
Haizzzz..... laxapro makes me feel not bad lah. But, I suddenly felt so scared last nite & now X= So I am here....... wasting time :(