Actually, only intended to check the portal & shut down the laptop de. But well, facebook & blogger seems too attractive.........
Mum & Dad's back from KL, unfortunately with no clothes at all ( I call it pathetic shopping hahah), instead they were back with a huge box of chocolates ( I meant those brown cardborad boxes not those small small boxes inside) 370 ringgit worth of coca...... hahah its enough to suffice me till end of year le. Apparently, I think is because I told them dark chocolates ( those extremely bitter oness) are good for anxiety, cause there's this dunno wad natural depressants inside, so i think thats wad made them brought 5 boxes of it...... lol & lots of rasins coated with coco.... & 3 boxes of Bei teh soh , 2 boxes of tau sar piah.... thats all. They might just go cameron highlans again this year end, for another event, but I doubt they will. lol
thats bout it, must really start my engine le ..................
Found this quote somewhere, "Humans are like plants. When we are cut, the threat is felt, one will propagate for survival & existence". find it extremely meaningful & afterall this is wad I have been sensing from some people.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
k, I have been slacking for the past few days doing I also dunno wad. other than friday.
After bio paper 1, I rushed off to see psych at NUH. Heng, I reach there on time, cause the doctor dunno I was coming(due to the delay by the nurses in sending my file into him) & went off for meeting ( I saw him walking away with my eyes while I was waiting). When the nurses finally realise he was offed, they rushed to confim if I was late & called him back haha.....
NVM that, cause he gt a meeting to attend to & he was already late also lol. He wrote my memo for MINDEF & it is like so so freaking short lol.( really 2 short sentences only!!!) saying I was under his care for my condition & wad medication I was on. hahah, he say if it is not enough I'll have to pay $80 bucks for a medical report which will take him a month to prepare. lols
anyway, medication dosage increased to 1, 10 mg pill / day le :( & according to the psych, my tiredness & wanting to sleep is due to exams haizzzzz, why cant I just be normal ???
After that met mum at JE MRT & went Singapore mint to get my silver pendant :) mum ended up getting another orchid coin, just as I have expected, she seems to have an interest in metals with flora designs..... anyway the pendant was wow :) It's my first PAMP bar ( smth like a gold bar, but is only 1/25 OZ= 6.662g) Lovely, cause they seldom make such small cute little silver bars in swiss :) & more importantly it is sealed in those formal percious metals plastic with assy office seal & certificate number. making me 不舍得open it........ hahah
k, thats about it, mum & dad would be back from KL tonite, they have been away since friday nite to tend to an event cum tour at KL. lol hope she gets me my secret recipe brownies lol
need to really start muging like mad le. cause I have slcked too much.
1 month of studies & delayed gratification
100 times of fullfilled wants & no regrets
After bio paper 1, I rushed off to see psych at NUH. Heng, I reach there on time, cause the doctor dunno I was coming(due to the delay by the nurses in sending my file into him) & went off for meeting ( I saw him walking away with my eyes while I was waiting). When the nurses finally realise he was offed, they rushed to confim if I was late & called him back haha.....
NVM that, cause he gt a meeting to attend to & he was already late also lol. He wrote my memo for MINDEF & it is like so so freaking short lol.( really 2 short sentences only!!!) saying I was under his care for my condition & wad medication I was on. hahah, he say if it is not enough I'll have to pay $80 bucks for a medical report which will take him a month to prepare. lols
anyway, medication dosage increased to 1, 10 mg pill / day le :( & according to the psych, my tiredness & wanting to sleep is due to exams haizzzzz, why cant I just be normal ???
After that met mum at JE MRT & went Singapore mint to get my silver pendant :) mum ended up getting another orchid coin, just as I have expected, she seems to have an interest in metals with flora designs..... anyway the pendant was wow :) It's my first PAMP bar ( smth like a gold bar, but is only 1/25 OZ= 6.662g) Lovely, cause they seldom make such small cute little silver bars in swiss :) & more importantly it is sealed in those formal percious metals plastic with assy office seal & certificate number. making me 不舍得open it........ hahah
k, thats about it, mum & dad would be back from KL tonite, they have been away since friday nite to tend to an event cum tour at KL. lol hope she gets me my secret recipe brownies lol
need to really start muging like mad le. cause I have slcked too much.
1 month of studies & delayed gratification
100 times of fullfilled wants & no regrets
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
k, 1 week of exams & I am like totally drained. Feeling quite tensed, my back all acheing & bit breathless now. Thanks to CSE & Math clashing on the same day, I wonder how am I going to survive GP's marriage with BIO...... , BIO & CHEM 通婚...... X= I think, I will ask for letter to do exams in private just in case, cause I can feel that, my brain& shoulders was v v v tensened today. & I can't even sleep last nite, ( though physically I was, my eyes was closed, but my brain wasn't, I am v sure)
Math, like bio & chem was a disaster, I think I flung bio, completely. I dont know why I so "Kei kiang" to choose question 9. & 2.5 full questions emptied. haha I am dead..... Math, I felt abit wasted, like chemistry, I didnt push myself hard enough. Not that I can't do la, just I was too calm....... I tell myself just try this time, so I really didnt piah....... But, after prelims, I must wake up. There's a dream, I don't wan a pipe dream. X=
But, good thing is, I'll be getting my silver pendant next friday le :) I have longed for it like aeons of decades le :)
一路上
有苦有乐,
雨后彩虹,
海阔天空.
Math, like bio & chem was a disaster, I think I flung bio, completely. I dont know why I so "Kei kiang" to choose question 9. & 2.5 full questions emptied. haha I am dead..... Math, I felt abit wasted, like chemistry, I didnt push myself hard enough. Not that I can't do la, just I was too calm....... I tell myself just try this time, so I really didnt piah....... But, after prelims, I must wake up. There's a dream, I don't wan a pipe dream. X=
But, good thing is, I'll be getting my silver pendant next friday le :) I have longed for it like aeons of decades le :)
一路上
有苦有乐,
雨后彩虹,
海阔天空.
Friday, September 3, 2010
k, I am here to waste time again. But I am feeling ok lah :)
I just woke up form my 4 hour nap, caused I simply didnt sleep last nite ( not that I didnt sleep, its just I dont feel that I was sleeping, cause I slept with tonnes of dreams, making me felt so yuckish) But its normal for me to be like that, at least my brain was working absolutely fine today. :)
GP papaer today, I don't really think I can get a B or C, I onlt hope that Gandi don't always come and irritate me lol & give me my D I am happy le :) There's lots of if only I want to say, if only I got more time for my AQ. If only, I saw my MEDIA question early enough and didnt freaking wasted 10 mintues on that idiotic Singapore Based question that I obviously know wasnt my cup of tea...... lol, but I was glad that at least I saw media & not did Singapore, cause singapore question yucks ttm.
But today's paper proved something, even for GP, practise makes perfect.
最无奈，总是怕慢人家一拍
I just woke up form my 4 hour nap, caused I simply didnt sleep last nite ( not that I didnt sleep, its just I dont feel that I was sleeping, cause I slept with tonnes of dreams, making me felt so yuckish) But its normal for me to be like that, at least my brain was working absolutely fine today. :)
GP papaer today, I don't really think I can get a B or C, I onlt hope that Gandi don't always come and irritate me lol & give me my D I am happy le :) There's lots of if only I want to say, if only I got more time for my AQ. If only, I saw my MEDIA question early enough and didnt freaking wasted 10 mintues on that idiotic Singapore Based question that I obviously know wasnt my cup of tea...... lol, but I was glad that at least I saw media & not did Singapore, cause singapore question yucks ttm.
But today's paper proved something, even for GP, practise makes perfect.
最无奈，总是怕慢人家一拍
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Just a last post before I logged off. ( a more emo one)
People change, Yes they do, as though they are changing clothes. Read Ammanda's blog, it makes me remincise about those days. It just further reinforce the point that, goals changes us. We tailor our lifes to reach and probaly get what we want.
Friends are important, this is what Siraj told me. I know, but at this point of life, when everyone is down with their interests at heart (afterall human's are innately selfish), finding a true friend, haha, makes me want to laugh. Imagine people who didnt bother about u, calling all of a sudden for advice? People whom you trusted all these while, suddenly shuts their dooor in the name of MUGGING.
I trust no one at this point, other than myself. Every teacher, the first thing upon hearing "I have anxiety disorder" coming out of my mouth said this to me : " oh, its ok , I have seen people worst than you, but they will make it in the end". That faith that tried to instill just makes me bit too annoyed & felt that it dont sound real.
Fact versus reality. I look, studious, hardworking, even someone said, other than cailin, I am the most hardworking in class. But does that matter? Like Mdm Song say: " Your effort is only reflected on that piece of paper".
I agreed, and I am not really starting my engine yet, cause I really am afraid that my limited engine capcity will run out before the race starts. So I decided to gamble this prelim, with doing papers more than studying chapters. It's a dangerous thing to do, consider my weak foundations. I will have to cushion myself for the shock of D&Es but, I want my effort to be reflected only in that cert, and nothing else.
There's people mugging from 11 am midnite till 9 am in the morning, finishing 5 biology chapters, can u imagine? It's that tad bit scary, and that's how life is in JC. MUG or DIE. But thelma, actually says, studies is not everything.
When the whole picture comes together, you just get more troubled, so I'll just trust myself. Do bio for this week & the coming week & I'll consider myself done, for prelims. It's a gamble, I hope I dont fly too high & get contemplated , neither do I hope to flung ( cause , I might not be able to get myself back into the picture.)
万物语意之所生
People change, Yes they do, as though they are changing clothes. Read Ammanda's blog, it makes me remincise about those days. It just further reinforce the point that, goals changes us. We tailor our lifes to reach and probaly get what we want.
Friends are important, this is what Siraj told me. I know, but at this point of life, when everyone is down with their interests at heart (afterall human's are innately selfish), finding a true friend, haha, makes me want to laugh. Imagine people who didnt bother about u, calling all of a sudden for advice? People whom you trusted all these while, suddenly shuts their dooor in the name of MUGGING.
I trust no one at this point, other than myself. Every teacher, the first thing upon hearing "I have anxiety disorder" coming out of my mouth said this to me : " oh, its ok , I have seen people worst than you, but they will make it in the end". That faith that tried to instill just makes me bit too annoyed & felt that it dont sound real.
Fact versus reality. I look, studious, hardworking, even someone said, other than cailin, I am the most hardworking in class. But does that matter? Like Mdm Song say: " Your effort is only reflected on that piece of paper".
I agreed, and I am not really starting my engine yet, cause I really am afraid that my limited engine capcity will run out before the race starts. So I decided to gamble this prelim, with doing papers more than studying chapters. It's a dangerous thing to do, consider my weak foundations. I will have to cushion myself for the shock of D&Es but, I want my effort to be reflected only in that cert, and nothing else.
There's people mugging from 11 am midnite till 9 am in the morning, finishing 5 biology chapters, can u imagine? It's that tad bit scary, and that's how life is in JC. MUG or DIE. But thelma, actually says, studies is not everything.
When the whole picture comes together, you just get more troubled, so I'll just trust myself. Do bio for this week & the coming week & I'll consider myself done, for prelims. It's a gamble, I hope I dont fly too high & get contemplated , neither do I hope to flung ( cause , I might not be able to get myself back into the picture.)
万物语意之所生
k, its not another week, but I felt as though, another week just flew past. But its start of "revision holiday" le. Teachers Day today, the concert bit boring, but its ok.
Feeling much better these few days. At least, I am laughing, joking abit & probably normal in many eyes again. Yeah :) Though, yah.
Recieved CMPB's letter for " Further Reporting Order" , not for commando selection though, lol. But odd enough, they wanted my parents to go with me & wanted to see my report book. Kinda weird. Date actually clash with my CSE & Math paper 1, prelim, should hab guessed that long ago. zzzz Wonder if they will change it.
That's bout it for now.
Feeling much better these few days. At least, I am laughing, joking abit & probably normal in many eyes again. Yeah :) Though, yah.
Recieved CMPB's letter for " Further Reporting Order" , not for commando selection though, lol. But odd enough, they wanted my parents to go with me & wanted to see my report book. Kinda weird. Date actually clash with my CSE & Math paper 1, prelim, should hab guessed that long ago. zzzz Wonder if they will change it.
That's bout it for now.
Friday, August 27, 2010
It's like 1 week since I took Laxapro, & I must admit, it works like a exlir, I am turning normal again. :) Though, not totally, but I am finally smiling. But, somehow, u can feel that, the joy is fake, cause, there's still times I felt like hyperventialting & my shoulders are as tensed as ever still. But, I am normalising at last. & u know, when you feel sian or sad, that there's this medical thingy pushing things down(I can feel it). But I dun wan to take prozac. X= & I am not studying enough la, I am well aware of it.
Like what I told jessie, the worst thing is probably not the sarcifices, but not getting what you want & letting down those that really cared. I have walked so far, I'll make it to the end.
Mrs Lee told me my plan D but, I dun wan it. I rather have my plan A or the plan A+, she proposed = get a scholarship, fly out & 证明给全世界看。 ( think I am daydreaming but 人因梦想而伟大, CaiLin You must ok hahah)
远离颠倒梦想
笨鸟要先飞
Like what I told jessie, the worst thing is probably not the sarcifices, but not getting what you want & letting down those that really cared. I have walked so far, I'll make it to the end.
Mrs Lee told me my plan D but, I dun wan it. I rather have my plan A or the plan A+, she proposed = get a scholarship, fly out & 证明给全世界看。 ( think I am daydreaming but 人因梦想而伟大, CaiLin You must ok hahah)
远离颠倒梦想
笨鸟要先飞
Friday, August 20, 2010
Hmmm, I dont really know what to say now. If only, if only I dont have anxiety disorder now. (yah, stop procrastinating a fact that couldnt be undone)
I went NTUC to buy chips & biscuits justnow, I saw a cashier, he was my friend. But thats not the point, the point is, the first thing that striked me was, he's definately capable enough, but he chose to move in another path. When people see me, they always see one side of me, the studious, probably hardworking side. But my inner self, who sees it?
Time & again, I told myself that, I need to walk till the end or else I would have wasted 2 years. But, it isnt easy, afterall, today another one in our class cried. Those that didnt breakdown in school, might hab broken at home.
Mdm Song actually blocked off a consultation slot for me. lol. Guess wad, she was absent on wed, because, she was too stress, she almost fainted when standing. We talked for quite sometime, she know that wad she said to me would fall on deaf ears & almost wad she said, I also know.
But, as much as I could be an ordinary kid, I can't cause, its 80 days left, I wan to make it, ALIVE. I am ready to sarcififce anything, but I must bear in mind that, my deterioriating mental health, needs some immediate attention. All the teachers are basically, worried that I burnt out before the A's. I can sense that. Till, mdm song actually want me to stop le. haha.
like wad ronald says: " must peak at the right time and not burnt out"
愿得智慧真明了
老天自有安排
I went NTUC to buy chips & biscuits justnow, I saw a cashier, he was my friend. But thats not the point, the point is, the first thing that striked me was, he's definately capable enough, but he chose to move in another path. When people see me, they always see one side of me, the studious, probably hardworking side. But my inner self, who sees it?
Time & again, I told myself that, I need to walk till the end or else I would have wasted 2 years. But, it isnt easy, afterall, today another one in our class cried. Those that didnt breakdown in school, might hab broken at home.
Mdm Song actually blocked off a consultation slot for me. lol. Guess wad, she was absent on wed, because, she was too stress, she almost fainted when standing. We talked for quite sometime, she know that wad she said to me would fall on deaf ears & almost wad she said, I also know.
But, as much as I could be an ordinary kid, I can't cause, its 80 days left, I wan to make it, ALIVE. I am ready to sarcififce anything, but I must bear in mind that, my deterioriating mental health, needs some immediate attention. All the teachers are basically, worried that I burnt out before the A's. I can sense that. Till, mdm song actually want me to stop le. haha.
like wad ronald says: " must peak at the right time and not burnt out"
愿得智慧真明了
老天自有安排
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
I am suppose to abstain from all mortal indulgence. Chih Kiat wan to be pharmacist(knew that long ago), ellisa wanna be social worker, I want to be accountant !!!! lol, Felt very inspired today, but very tired also.
Probably, eventaully I might give up on accountant , but be an environmental engineer or someone researching in plants, cause somehow thats my cup of tea, but I wan to prove that I can make it for accountant. I wont give up till the last minute, I promise, cause I walked quite far le & I have made it so far, I shouldnt give up, but my mood really gets into me. I just hope that I can get there. I visioned my dad driving me to NTU accountancy course, cause he work there, hahah. Its a dream, but I wan to fullfill it.
I'll take my anti depressants from tmr nite, I will take my supplements twice the dosage I am taking now( though it really makes my stomch very eeee) & I'll take stablizers in 3 weeks time. X= Hope it works, I really really wan to end with the end in mind....
This should shed some light into why I got this "nice condition". But I am really lost with my revision. X=
Probably, eventaully I might give up on accountant , but be an environmental engineer or someone researching in plants, cause somehow thats my cup of tea, but I wan to prove that I can make it for accountant. I wont give up till the last minute, I promise, cause I walked quite far le & I have made it so far, I shouldnt give up, but my mood really gets into me. I just hope that I can get there. I visioned my dad driving me to NTU accountancy course, cause he work there, hahah. Its a dream, but I wan to fullfill it.
I'll take my anti depressants from tmr nite, I will take my supplements twice the dosage I am taking now( though it really makes my stomch very eeee) & I'll take stablizers in 3 weeks time. X= Hope it works, I really really wan to end with the end in mind....
This should shed some light into why I got this "nice condition". But I am really lost with my revision. X=
Friday, August 13, 2010
Got Singapore Mint's catlogue on tue & as usual, something caught my eye haha. I eyed on this lovely 1/5 OZ PAMP silver pendant, with lotus flower engraving de, it look so so so gorgerous haha. I am so so so gona get it after this 7th lunar month, while my mum might just get all 3 lotus, rose & butterfly orchid de ( cause aparently the pendants came in 3 designs& actually the rose is the most intricate de). Then i'll get a new black cord & make sure I get it stringed, so that I'll have a new piece to my collection haha.
Anyway's, will be back to doctor on tue, & yah, 我认命了。I'll 乖乖take my anti depressants....... so that, I dun feel so sucky during gabriel de class & I dun feel so freaked out during ms aw de lesson & dun feel so drifted away from mdm song de teachings...... cause, during MEP, I felt so so so utterly disgusted that I went out & never went back. & I might get a letter, like shahilla, to do my exams in private le. X= very bad idea, cause it will be reflected on my cert that I took A levels under special condition, but if things doesnt work out, this is wad I should do bah.
haizzzzzzzzz, y 早不来，晚不来，现在来。。。。。 :( Till I dun even know how to study le, have been hoping mdm song will come & ask me how i felt so that I can 顺便ask her how & wad I should do now. But she didnt, & i also dunno how to ask. so didnt ask & wanted to let that innocent gabriel know wad happen de, so that he dun always come & zzzzzzzzzz me, over my undone bio & poor performance, but I also dunno how to 开口 lols
有苦难言。。。。。。
Anyway's, will be back to doctor on tue, & yah, 我认命了。I'll 乖乖take my anti depressants....... so that, I dun feel so sucky during gabriel de class & I dun feel so freaked out during ms aw de lesson & dun feel so drifted away from mdm song de teachings...... cause, during MEP, I felt so so so utterly disgusted that I went out & never went back. & I might get a letter, like shahilla, to do my exams in private le. X= very bad idea, cause it will be reflected on my cert that I took A levels under special condition, but if things doesnt work out, this is wad I should do bah.
haizzzzzzzzz, y 早不来，晚不来，现在来。。。。。 :( Till I dun even know how to study le, have been hoping mdm song will come & ask me how i felt so that I can 顺便ask her how & wad I should do now. But she didnt, & i also dunno how to ask. so didnt ask & wanted to let that innocent gabriel know wad happen de, so that he dun always come & zzzzzzzzzz me, over my undone bio & poor performance, but I also dunno how to 开口 lols
有苦难言。。。。。。
Monday, August 9, 2010
hmmmm...... lalalalala
Ytd, No time for some real shopping & can't find bermudas, cause shops around this area doesnt sell them !!!! So didnt got any new clothing.... But brought some food instead, biscuits, instat noodles in particular, just to realise, my house still got tonnes of instant noodles hahaha. Missed M&S cookies le leh X= hehe will try to get some this coming friday, & some white chocolates & crackers & hahahah I can go on. Cause I am getting more & more easily hungry thanks to supplements :(
National Day today :) must 风调雨顺, 国泰民安 hahah , so obiang but is the best of all le. lol
Ytd, No time for some real shopping & can't find bermudas, cause shops around this area doesnt sell them !!!! So didnt got any new clothing.... But brought some food instead, biscuits, instat noodles in particular, just to realise, my house still got tonnes of instant noodles hahaha. Missed M&S cookies le leh X= hehe will try to get some this coming friday, & some white chocolates & crackers & hahahah I can go on. Cause I am getting more & more easily hungry thanks to supplements :(
National Day today :) must 风调雨顺, 国泰民安 hahah , so obiang but is the best of all le. lol
Saturday, August 7, 2010
should be finishing up that whole list of HW now, but hmmm, I just wanna do some updates, had been onlined for these few days & realised that many had not been online.
A levels does have its own powers to make people negelect their computers de ma. Anyway, changed my appointment with NUH till next next tue, brought it forward by 3 weeks, cause I dunno if I can live without medication ma.
Read an article on TODAY's 2nd page , about how nervous breakdown turns into a depression. X= It's like, woah, there's actually comeone who can feel how u actually felt.& agreed that friends are important, but there's this idiot.( I dont care, I am simply using this word on him now, afterall, he doesnt see all this also. ) Appreciated the start, but I really hated the end.
Anyway, from facebook, seems that I have missed quite a huge part of NDP, but I am glad that at least for the past 48 hours I have been feeling relaxed & calm ( cause I am away from school) ( somehow school gives me that emoish feeling & it drains everything out of me )Though, I think I am starting to get abit, diffcult with my sleeps le. X=
If its not that I can't bear with it, I wouldnt have said so much recently also.
A levels does have its own powers to make people negelect their computers de ma. Anyway, changed my appointment with NUH till next next tue, brought it forward by 3 weeks, cause I dunno if I can live without medication ma.
Read an article on TODAY's 2nd page , about how nervous breakdown turns into a depression. X= It's like, woah, there's actually comeone who can feel how u actually felt.& agreed that friends are important, but there's this idiot.( I dont care, I am simply using this word on him now, afterall, he doesnt see all this also. ) Appreciated the start, but I really hated the end.
Anyway, from facebook, seems that I have missed quite a huge part of NDP, but I am glad that at least for the past 48 hours I have been feeling relaxed & calm ( cause I am away from school) ( somehow school gives me that emoish feeling & it drains everything out of me )Though, I think I am starting to get abit, diffcult with my sleeps le. X=
If its not that I can't bear with it, I wouldnt have said so much recently also.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Saturday, July 31, 2010
For the pass week - I got my new specs, got a new crystal bear ornament that I have always wanted, though its complimentary for SK jewllery & not from swaroviski, but I am still happy that I finally got a pair of crystal bears :) hahah they are so so so cute& lovely the boy wore a black hat & the girl got this pink flower so so so nice :) these are probably those little things I should be happy about. lols
Hmm, 1 week passsed, & yup, saw doctor, got some supplements that's suppose to help me concentrate better. But, I realised my condition got worst ( after or probably during a stupid math test). I was simply so anxiety ridden that I "pak" hit my pen agaisnt the table producing this utterly loud noise, that I didnt even know why. X= Got scolded by thelma, cause I am runing away from my anxitey by not telling the doctor the full picture X=
Read Julian's blog, felt one thing in common. Friends- We should/ can give in to traits of indiviuals, afterall, friends ought to be able to give in at times & accomodate or probably appreciate the differences of the opposite. But, at times, when we know too much of the "darker side " of others, we start to be wary, cause I experienced that. & probably people didnt notice that changed me quite alot.
less than 100 days to A levels le. I also wan to be somebody but 可以吗? I wanted it quite badly . haizzzz
Hmm, 1 week passsed, & yup, saw doctor, got some supplements that's suppose to help me concentrate better. But, I realised my condition got worst ( after or probably during a stupid math test). I was simply so anxiety ridden that I "pak" hit my pen agaisnt the table producing this utterly loud noise, that I didnt even know why. X= Got scolded by thelma, cause I am runing away from my anxitey by not telling the doctor the full picture X=
Read Julian's blog, felt one thing in common. Friends- We should/ can give in to traits of indiviuals, afterall, friends ought to be able to give in at times & accomodate or probably appreciate the differences of the opposite. But, at times, when we know too much of the "darker side " of others, we start to be wary, cause I experienced that. & probably people didnt notice that changed me quite alot.
less than 100 days to A levels le. I also wan to be somebody but 可以吗? I wanted it quite badly . haizzzz
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
I should be writing my 3 paragraphs of CCA/ CIP achievements now de, but , aya who cares la. Its another selling point hahah.
I'll write 1 on CCA, 1 on Xperience pharmacy camp, 1 on my peer tutoring experience both internal & external de.
Now thinking back, my J1 life isnt that bad bah, though 50% of it was wasted on slogging through mugging. At least I enjoyed the interview trips, the camps & the taiwan trip. PW wasnt as bad now, its like a learning experence, those days, I sort of missed them. I am someone that reminises, at some point of life, things that we consider bad or tedious in the past wasn't that bad afterall. Its the experience bah.
But, mood swings are getting more & more eeeeeee le. I can be happy for awhile & suddenly sad later, like today during chem, I was emo ttm !!! & I realise that anti depressants could make me sucidal X= (for the first 2 wks before it takes effects) :( I dun wan to eat that.
Recently found 笨小孩 sung by 劉德華. The lyrics quite nice & interesting de hahah......
Every man is his own island........ now I understand wad this meant le................
I'll write 1 on CCA, 1 on Xperience pharmacy camp, 1 on my peer tutoring experience both internal & external de.
Now thinking back, my J1 life isnt that bad bah, though 50% of it was wasted on slogging through mugging. At least I enjoyed the interview trips, the camps & the taiwan trip. PW wasnt as bad now, its like a learning experence, those days, I sort of missed them. I am someone that reminises, at some point of life, things that we consider bad or tedious in the past wasn't that bad afterall. Its the experience bah.
But, mood swings are getting more & more eeeeeee le. I can be happy for awhile & suddenly sad later, like today during chem, I was emo ttm !!! & I realise that anti depressants could make me sucidal X= (for the first 2 wks before it takes effects) :( I dun wan to eat that.
Recently found 笨小孩 sung by 劉德華. The lyrics quite nice & interesting de hahah......
Every man is his own island........ now I understand wad this meant le................
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
k, I should be mugging now, but I really don't feel like. I am pretty tired today, after the brief chat with the 2 china teachers. I still wondered if I have asked the wrong questions haha.
Hmm, just a quick update on my situation, mood swings r getting more & more frequent. I just had one, thanks to stupic spectacles shop that didnt polish my lens side, I was freaking annoyed by the fact that, they didnt do that........... I should have brought the other more ex de.... it look much nicer on me X=
& I am recommended to go on medication to control my condition, cause its just getting into my life. So I was referraled once again to another doctor..... zzzz on saturday. I really dun feel like de, having medication de.
hiazzz, like wad I told Chih Kiat, I felt quite screwed, my eye sight is 1000 degree le & my condition made things worst......
haizzzz
thats out it.
Hmm, just a quick update on my situation, mood swings r getting more & more frequent. I just had one, thanks to stupic spectacles shop that didnt polish my lens side, I was freaking annoyed by the fact that, they didnt do that........... I should have brought the other more ex de.... it look much nicer on me X=
& I am recommended to go on medication to control my condition, cause its just getting into my life. So I was referraled once again to another doctor..... zzzz on saturday. I really dun feel like de, having medication de.
hiazzz, like wad I told Chih Kiat, I felt quite screwed, my eye sight is 1000 degree le & my condition made things worst......
haizzzz
thats out it.
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