Just a last post before I logged off. ( a more emo one)

People change, Yes they do, as though they are changing clothes. Read Ammanda's blog, it makes me remincise about those days. It just further reinforce the point that, goals changes us. We tailor our lifes to reach and probaly get what we want.

Friends are important, this is what Siraj told me. I know, but at this point of life, when everyone is down with their interests at heart (afterall human's are innately selfish), finding a true friend, haha, makes me want to laugh. Imagine people who didnt bother about u, calling all of a sudden for advice? People whom you trusted all these while, suddenly shuts their dooor in the name of MUGGING.

I trust no one at this point, other than myself. Every teacher, the first thing upon hearing "I have anxiety disorder" coming out of my mouth said this to me : " oh, its ok , I have seen people worst than you, but they will make it in the end". That faith that tried to instill just makes me bit too annoyed & felt that it dont sound real.

Fact versus reality. I look, studious, hardworking, even someone said, other than cailin, I am the most hardworking in class. But does that matter? Like Mdm Song say: " Your effort is only reflected on that piece of paper".

I agreed, and I am not really starting my engine yet, cause I really am afraid that my limited engine capcity will run out before the race starts. So I decided to gamble this prelim, with doing papers more than studying chapters. It's a dangerous thing to do, consider my weak foundations. I will have to cushion myself for the shock of D&Es but, I want my effort to be reflected only in that cert, and nothing else.

There's people mugging from 11 am midnite till 9 am in the morning, finishing 5 biology chapters, can u imagine? It's that tad bit scary, and that's how life is in JC. MUG or DIE. But thelma, actually says, studies is not everything.

When the whole picture comes together, you just get more troubled, so I'll just trust myself. Do bio for this week & the coming week & I'll consider myself done, for prelims. It's a gamble, I hope I dont fly too high & get contemplated , neither do I hope to flung ( cause , I might not be able to get myself back into the picture.)

万物语意之所生