Phase 2 of BMT

5 weeks in BMT, I would say that I have experienced 2 worlds of BMT. First class and hell like.

Firsty, when you experience a new hell, the old hell is just thrown to the back of our mind. Why? It's simple. The moment we landed our foot on S........, Pulau Tekong, the place where we used to curse and swear at, turns out to be paradise.

Though food on the mainland seems more appitizing, and probably closer to heart than those on tekong. (Because you dont get to taste food that seems to be cooked with seawater fresh from the seas of Tekong, or noodles that are oily like our faces after PT hahaha). One should take into the consideration that people at Tekong are probably more humane, probably we are PES Cs hahah. But seriuosly, its the people you are dealing with that affects your actions, mood and definately the overall experience for BMT. Its not the food or living environment that really matters that much. For the people that we are dealing with, defines the overall well being, as the words and commands the give affects the mental states of indiviuals directly.

My day 3 on mainland was probably the most miserable one. Suffering from a mild fever, sore throat and a rather serve mental discomfort( feeling of lost, insercurity, blurishness, home sick and bit of hopelessness) throughout the day, but having no alternative to voice out made be broke down at last, after the last march for the day. I took half of the alprazolam tablet, and for the first time in many nites, I slept without a dream. These are words which I could never said to ppl around. They are feelings which people do not understand.

My marching sux, I am simply half a pace behind time. Throwing me out of co ordination. Feeling sux, cause I seems to be pulling everyone down.........

And mainland does knows how to play with mentaility pretty well. So well that I appluade them...... The sight of ppl knocking down, screaming and shouting simply irks me beyound belief......... Probably I sympatheized too much, which I should not.

Anyway, just hope that the remaining 4 weeks passes ASAP.............. I dont really think it can be a nice experience, just hope that I get out of there without suffering too much mentally.